One Of The Guys
by xXJammieXx
Summary: Alex has been a tomboy her whole life.There was one boy's attention she couldn't get,Carlos Garcia.She breaks out of her tomboy ways and dresses up for a night with the guy of her dreams.Will Alex stay as a tomboy or will she change?
1. Chapter 1: A Girlish Tomboy?

Chapter One: A Girlish Tomboy?

"Ms. Diamond!" A loud slam was heard in the small classroom. I raised my head and looked at .

"Alexandria! This is the fourth time this week you've slacked off! Detention!"

"Hey, it's not her fault your lecture was boring," Kendall Knight said. The class laughed and I was a little relieved that the attention was taken off of me.

"Mr. Knight this is not comedy hour. Detention. I hope you and have a splendid time there," smirked.

"Jerk," Kendall and I whispered together.

Kendall and I sat together in detention playing cards in the back. My twin brother James was going to be pissed off. This was the second time I got detention this week. The first time was yesterday when I punched a girl in gym class for tripping me while I was running. Every Friday we played a hockey game at the local rink with the guys, and just my luck, its Friday. My group of friends were Logan Mitchell, the genius of the group, Kendall Knight, the one who always acts like the leader, my twin brother James Diamond, the conceited one, my cousin Victor Diamond, the one who doesn't care what people think, and Carlos Garcia, the one who always pulls pranks and loves helmets.

The bell rang, to my joy. Kendall put the cards away and I grabbed his hand and ran down the hallway.

"Run faster Kenny!" I said while pulling him down the hallway to my locker.

"Where were you two?" I heard James' voice ask, "Let me guess.."

I opened my locker and pulled out a handheld mirror and held it up to James' face. He was quiet now as he fixed his hair while looking in the mirror.

"That never gets old," I heard my best friend Paige's voice. Paige didn't like hockey like the rest of us did. She only came to see James play. She has been crushing on my brother since we were old enough to talk. She mostly said "James" or "Jamie" when we were kids. I hate the name "Jamie" because it was almost my name. Well I don't really hate the name. I just hate when all twins have matching names. I'm glad my brother and I don't. Instead I got the name you would hear in a fairy tale.

"Let's go get the others. Wait for us here," Kendall patted James on the arm and they left.

"So," I tried to sound normal, "how was last period?"

"Oh stop beating around the bush Alex, just ask about him," Paige laughed.

She knows I don't like being direct about questions. I always got nervous.

"Fine," Paige sighed, "Don't ask, I wont tell you then."

"Okay, okay! I give up! Did Carlos stare at her again?" I asked, feeling myself blush just from saying his name.

"Yeah, he stared at Maya Sanders for while today. Sorry Alex. But that girl has nothing on you! She's a Barbie and you're-"

"A tomboy?"

"I was going to say a babe. You dress like a boy sometimes but if you get some better clothes I'm sure Carlos will notice!" Paige smiled.

"That's the point Paige, I shouldn't have to change to get him to notice. He should have noticed me already." I shrugged and opened my locker. I began placing books inside.

"Sometimes he stares at you with longing eyes," I couldn't tell if she was trying to make me feel better or if she were lying. "It's true! Honest!" She put a hand to her heart, something she only did when she was being honest. I was going to respond but I saw Paige's face light up. Then I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I turned around slowly. My dark brown eyes lit up.

"Hey Carlos," my stomach did a flip. Every time I saw him my thoughts screamed in joy.

"Hey," he smiled at me, "Where is everyone?"

"They went looking for you, Victor and Logan," I said.

"I'll go get them!" Paige said after messing with her phone. She sped walked down the hallway.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Carlos looked confused. Before I even opened the text message, I knew it was from Paige.

"**U better thank me for alone time with ur cute little hockey player! I got everyone, meet u at the rink"**

I replied with, **"You better thank ME for not freaking out over your little crush on my brother!"**

I smiled, feeling victorious as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Then I felt nervous. Alone..with Carlos.

"I..umm..That was Paige," I said pointing to my phone and nodding, "Umm, they're at the rink waiting for us, so lets go," I started walking ahead.

"Lexie wait up!" Carlos jogged up to me. He slid his arm around mine and smiled down at me. He then looked away but then looked back at me. "This way you cant run off anymore."

"And if I do," I took his helmet off his head and put it on myself, "I'll try to avoid collisions."

We both began to laugh as we walked down the hallway, arm in arm.

Walking with Carlos like that felt so right. I'm not sure if he felt it to. He walked like this with Paige before, which made me jealous. Soon we reached the rink and Paige gave me an obvious thumbs up when she saw me walking arm in arm with Carlos.

"What was that about?" Carlos asked.

"Ohh, nothing she just likes the helmet," I patted the helmet with my free hand, feeling nervous.

Soon we were making teams for our hockey game. Carlos, Logan and I against James, Victor and Kendall.

"I'm not going easy on you sis!" James called out to me from the ice.

"I wouldn't expect you to!" I called back after I slid out onto the ice.

"Of course we would win!" Logan laughed. Logan, Carlos and I gave each other a high five.

"Okay, okay, enjoy your victory while you can. Next Friday we'll win," Victor crossed his arms with a smirk on his face.

"We'll see," Carlos and I said in unison.

Paige and I sat down while the boys left to return the gear and get some lunch.

"So what was that all about?" Paige asked. I knew she was referring to how Carlos and I entered the rink.

"It was nothing, he walks like that with you sometimes too," I starred at the table.

"Yeah but Carlos and I are just friends, you're hoping for something more. Alex just let me-" she paused mid-sentence.

"Just let you what?…Paige?" I looked towards the direction she was starring at. Maya Sanders had just walked in and she was making her way to Carlos. Paige firmly grasped my arm and yanked me up.

"Go!" she pushed me gently, "Don't let her win!"

"Forget it, if he likes me he'll do something about it," I sat back down.

Paige rolled her eyes, "Stop waiting for him to make the first move Alex!"

"Take your own advice. You've been waiting for my brother to ask you out for months." I shook my head holding back a laugh. She always gave me advice and never took her own.

"I have a great idea!" Paige sat down with a huge grin on her face. Her ideas were never 'great'. They were more along the lines of her dressing me up like a Barbie doll. I never went through with these plans. Paige has wanted to make me her life size Barbie doll for as long as I can remember. She would always say, "Alex you have so much potential to be a babe. C'mon, just try on one dress?" Of course I would always say no.

The boys returned with food and we sat in silence until they brought up the game.

"You have good control on the ice Alex," Carlos said while stuffing French fries into his mouth. Every time one of them gave me this compliment I always felt like 'one of the guys'. I like it because then I feel like I'm one of them. I do want to be treated like a girl sometimes but not all the time. Sometimes at school the boys would play around and shove each other. Soon it came my turn and one of them would shove me. I would laugh and shove them back.

"Thanks," I said while playing with my food. I wanted him to see me in a different light. I pulled out my phone and sent Paige a text. I couldn't say this in front of the guys. **"Make me girly. Just not TOO girly."**

Paige pulled out her phone and smiled at the text. She slid her phone back into her pocket. The boys were too focused on their food and hockey conversation to notice Paige had reached over and touched my hair.

"What're you doing? I didn't mean now Paige!" I whispered. She rolled her eyes and let my hair loose. I had it in a pony tail every day, but now Paige let it out. I felt my hair fall out on my shoulders.

"Shake your head," Paige said. I let out an annoyed sigh and did as told.

"Perfect," Paige crossed her arms and smiled at me. Then it got quiet. I turned my head slowly and I saw all eyes on me.

"What?" I smiled slightly as I asked in a normal tone.

"You are Alex right?" Kendall asked.

"Who else would I be?" I crossed my arms and made a face.

Carlos laughed, "Princess Alexandria!"

"I told you not to call me that!" I attempted to get up to shove him but Paige grabbed my arm and pulled me.

"Ok Lexie," Carlos smiled at his victory.

"So why the sudden change in hairstyle?" Logan asked. I didn't know how to respond.

"She is my personal Barbie doll from now on!" Paige said happily.

"What?" James and Victor said in unison.

"She actually gave in?" James asked. They were acting like I wasn't even there.

"She needs a favor and in return she has to be my life size Barbie." Paige's dream had come true. I, her best friend, was now her Barbie doll. Might as well start dyeing my brown hair blond and give me some blue contacts. I made a face at the thought. On second thought, I'd rather be those cheep brunette Barbie dolls that no one wants. I cant picture myself blond.

"So, I saw Maya come in," Paige said, changing the conversation.

"Yeah, she asked Carlos to see a movie with her," Logan said after taking a sip of soda. I felt the green monster of jealousy inside my heart.

Paige must had noticed because she spoke up. "How about we all go to the Homecoming dance tomorrow at school? Student government decided it's going to be a dressy event. You know, dresses and tuxedos" Something told me this was her 'great idea'. Like I said, it's not great.

"Good luck with getting Alex into a dress," Victor said.

**The Next Day**

"For the last time, NO!" I shook my head and walked away from Paige. She was trying to get me to wear a dress. It was black and fancy looking. The straps for the shoulders were thick and the dress was V-cut.

"It would stop right after your knees!" Paige threw her hands up in the air.

"I'd rather wear a skirt," I sat on my bed.

"Really?" Paige had a big grin.

"Yeah, if the skirt includes a giant T-shirt I can use to hide it." I hated showing my legs and everyone knew it.

"If you want to be more girly then you have to wear a dress to fancy places," she shoved the dress into my arms, "Now go try this on! The boys will be here any minute."

I gave her a glare as I walked into the bathroom with the dress. After some time I managed to get the dress on. It was a perfect fit.

"The boys better be wearing tuxedos since I'm wearing this," I looked up while I walked out and found Paige and the guys in my room in their tuxedos. My brown eyes widened and my mouth opened slightly.

"Alex, you look great," my brother said nodding in approval. He hated when I dressed like a boy and has always tried to get my mom or Paige to play 'dress up' with me. He took out his hand held mirror and handed it to me. My reflection seemed like it was another person. My long dark hair was flowing past my shoulders in slight curls. I actually liked the way my red highlights looked. Paige walked up to me and applied some make-up. She then pulled out a black pencil, also known as my enemy, eyeliner. My mom had tried to put some on me when I was fifteen and it stung my eyes.

"No thanks," I grabbed the pencil and tossed it on my bed.

"C'mon Lexie, you know you're never going to dress like this again," Carlos said, "I left my helmet at home, so put on some pencil thingy. Its only fair."

We stared at one another for a few moments until I felt the stares of everyone else on me. "Fine," I said.

Paige led everyone downstairs. I was stuck inside with my brother and my parents who were taking pictures of me.

"This day will never come again! I'm taking advantage now!" My mom said before pressing the shutter button on the camera. James and I both smiled at the camera.

"I'll meet you downstairs," James said after lightly patting my back. I smiled and nodded. After a few more pictures, I was no longer my parents prisoner. I walked out the house and into the cold weather. Like an idiot, I had forgotten a jacket. Whatever, everyone is waiting. I'll make it to the car on time..I hope. I walked down the street, trying to remember where James' car was.

"You didn't bring a jacket?" a familiar voice asked, "Here."

I felt a warm jacket slide onto my shoulders. I turned around and saw Carlos smiling at me.

"Yeah, you know how I get sometimes," I tried to laugh it off, "Where is everyone?"

"James' car could only seat five. I said I would stay behind to give you a ride," he smiled.

"So, where's the car?" I asked.

"You see," he began, "It wasn't until after they left that I had remembered that my car is at home."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"So let's walk," I said softly. He nodded and offered me his hand. I stared at him for a moment before I grabbed his hand. It was warm and welcoming. I felt my face get warm and I then looked down to hide my blush. I liked Carlos for a long time. I never showed it because I feared rejection. I didn't want to say 'Hey Carlos, yeah I've liked you since we were babies.' That would just be awkward. And he would probably see me as 'one of the guys' instead of as a girl who has been crushing on him for a really long time.

We walked in silence until we reached the school. "I hope its fun," he starred at the entrance.

"It'll be fun since you're here," I whispered. I don't think he heard me since he led me into the school. My eyes started to search for Paige, but instead she found me. She was wearing a strapless red dress and her straight dark brown hair looked great. She continuously commented me on how I looked. I got comments from guys who never noticed me before and from some of my friends. I felt awkward, but I still had fun dancing with my friends. A slow song began to play and Paige made a face.

"I don't think we should dance together to this song," she said.

"Duh!" I made a face back at her.

"Ew, Maya found Carlos," Paige made a disgusted face.

"He can dance with her if he wants to," I turned around, "Look there's my brother. Go ask him to dance Paige."

"Not until you ask Carlos to dance," she smirked. Not wanting to let her win, I walked towards Carlos. I saw Paige's shocked reaction. She obviously thought I was going to chicken out.

I tapped Carlos on the shoulder. "Wanna dance?"

He looked from Maya then to me, "Sure."

I thought he was going to saw 'no'. When he said 'sure' I had realized that I don't know how to slow dance.

He put his hands on my waist and I looked around the dance floor. I saw the girls had their arms around the guys necks so I did the same. I stepped on his feet a few times but he just laughed gently. After dancing in an awkward silence, Carlos pulled me closer to whisper in my ear.

"Paige spoke to me today."

"What did she say?" I tried to make my voice sound like I didn't care. Why would she talk to him and then not tell me about it?

"She told me to stop waiting," he said softly.

"Waiting for what?" I was confused.

"For this.." he leaned in closer to me and soon his lips touched mine.

**I really hope you guys are enjoying this story so far. I just got the idea and started typing. I feel like it's missing something but I don't know what. I'll try to think of something for the next chapter. :)**


	2. Chapter 2: The Audition

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Two: The Audition

"Alex? … Alex?"

"Huh?" I felt Carlos' strong hands on my shoulders. He was shaking me lightly. He tore me out of a perfect reverie that I wished was reality.

"You spaced out," he sounded worried.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm fine now," I paused, "What were you saying before?"

"That I spoke to Paige," he repeated, "and she told me to stop waiting."

I just raised my eyebrows curiously. "She told me to stop waiting to say 'I like you Alex'."

"Don't say it just because Paige told you to," I looked away. The song then changed. "I better go find Paige," I smiled at him and walked away.

"What happened?" Paige almost ran straight into me.

"Why did you tell him to say he likes me?" I asked angrily.

"Because he does!" Paige said it in a 'duh' tone.

"If he does then he'll say it. I should have never put on this stupid dress. This dress is the only reason why he danced with me tonight. If I came with my usual big T-shirt and ripped jeans he wouldn't have noticed me. I would just be Alex Diamond to him. When people hear 'Alex is James' twin they already think I'm a boy," I paused, "That's why he started calling me Lexie.."

"Who?" Paige was confused.

"Carlos," I turned around. Maybe I should have let him finish talking. He was now dancing with Maya. They both had huge grins on their faces. I wish my day dream had come true. Seeing him with Maya made the green monster of jealousy take over me. I couldn't stand to see him with her. I couldn't stand seeing him with anyone. All the girlfriends he had in his past were nice but I secretly hated them. "I'm leaving."

I turned to the door and walked out. I heard Paige calling out to me, but I didn't want to watch Carlos with Maya anymore. As I walked down the street I wiped the make-up off my face. Why was I dressing up as a Barbie? For his attention? He only noticed me because of the dress and this stupid make-up. Why couldn't he accept me for me? If he wants a Barbie girl he can have Maya.

Suddenly my body was jerked to the side. A tall older guy with a few scars on his face had a tight grip on my wrist. He smelled of liquor and cigarettes. He had stains on his shirt and he had a bottle inside a paper bag in his other hand.

"Let me go you old pervert!" I yelled while punching him with my free hand, "Only pedophiles stay near schools during a dance!" It's true. Weird creeps always stay outside my school but they never bothered me or Paige since we always walked home with the boys.

He then slapped me hard. "Shut up girl!"

"Asshole!" I screamed back.

He began to drag me down the street. I continued to try to fight him. The man turned around and shook me by my shoulders. "I said shut up!" he then touched the strap of my dress, sliding it off my shoulder.

This was my chance. I aimed a kick between his legs. The man groaned in pain and I turned and ran back towards the school. It would be safer there. I'm not going to be like those stupid girls in movies who run home which is farther away.

"Alex?" I saw my cousin Victor as ran I into the school.

"Whoa, what's going on?" he asked.

"A freaking pedophile is chasing me!" I yelled.

Soon Carlos was next to Victor. Had I yelled that loud? His face was serious, no longer with his usual goofy grin.

He and Victor both walked out with me close by. "That's him!" I pointed at the ugly man as he walked back and forth and then stopped to sip his drink. He stopped and started yelling "Where's my girl?" I assumed Carlos and Victor would call the cops but instead they both walked up to the guy.

"Where's my girl?" the drunk yelled. He saw me and grabbed my wrist again and started pulling me again.

Victor attempted to punch the man but Carlos got to him first. He punched him hard on his jaw. The guy fell back and Carlos continued to punch him.

"Wrong! She's **my **girl! Hands off my girl!" Carlos said between punches. Blood was running out of the man's nose but Carlos didn't care. Either someone called the cops or they were on patrol because now they were here. They were grabbing Carlos who now started to kick the man as he groaned in pain.

"Don't you ever touch her again!" Carlos yelled as he took his final kick. They had forgotten about Victor who now jumped on the man and attacked him.

Another cop grabbed Victor and pulled him away. "I'm going to kill that sick bastard for touching my cousin!" Victor growled. My brother had just walked outside with Paige to hear Victor's outburst. Now he was attacking the man. Wasn't this perfect? Almost everyone I knew was appearing to attack this man. After more cops pulled my brother away he turned to me.

"Did he rape you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "He tried to.." I said quietly. I seem tough to everyone but I do get scared. I just did what my father had told me to do in a situation like that. I hit him where it hurts.

James ran at the man again but the cops stopped him. A cop walked up to me.

"Alex," I recognized the cop as Carlos' father, Officer Garcia. "Can you tell me what happened tonight?" I told Officer Garcia exactly what happened. That I had left the dance and the man had grabbed me and tried to take off my dress so I kicked his family jewels and ran.

Carlos walked over to me and hugged me tightly. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he smiled back.

"Oh just kiss her already!" I heard Paige yell. I blushed and looked away. Carlos took a step closer to me.

"Carlos," I heard Officer Garcia's voice, "What happened when Alex got here?" Carlos jumped back.

"She told Victor that some guy was chasing her and I overheard so we walked outside. He grabbed Alex so I punched him." he said it slowly and angrily. His father nodded and walked away. The man was being put into the backseat of the cop's car.

Everyone then went inside as if the cops had never shown up. It was just Carlos and I.

"Alex," his hand was getting closer to my cheek. I unconsciously leaned into his touch as I looked down.

"I really do like you, I didn't need Paige to tell me so I could realize it," he paused, "You're brother might kill me for saying this but, I was going to tell you how I feel but Logan, Kendall, James and myself have an audition in a few days. If we get picked we'll go to L.A and start recording an album."

I looked up at him sadly. "Carlos I-"

He cut me off, "Some things are better left unsaid. If we get picked to go to L.A I don't want us to deal with being separated." He kissed my cheek, "I'm sorry."

I was depressed these past few days. Carlos and I were now distant. I had told Paige about the audition he told me about and she kept saying she felt sorry for me. I hate when people feel sorry for me. James told my parents, who were excited for him.

I got up and showered and left without even eating breakfast. Paige waited for me at the corner. When we got to school I took off my coat and placed it inside my locker. Paige was disappointed in my outfit. I was wearing a T-shirt and my ripped jeans. She only liked that my hair was loose instead of in it's usual pony tail.

Today was the day of their audition. It was all I could think about. I zoned out in Mr. Smith's class again which earned me another detention. After last period I walked into detention and found Carlos sitting in the back. I sat in the back corner, away from him. He got up and sat next to me.

"Who'd you punch this time?" he asked.

"I didn't punch anyone," I looked out the window.

"Mr. Smith?"

"Yup."

"Day dreaming again?"

"Yup."

"The audition's today," he said it softly.

"I know." I didn't want to remember but he just brought it up again.

We stood quiet after this. I want him and my friends to be successful but I don't want Carlos to leave. Why didn't I listen to Paige? If I had told him how I felt from the beginning we would be together right now. If we were together now we would be dealing with the pain of possibly being separated. Carlos didn't want us to have this pain but deep inside we still had that pain. If we were together the pain would just be worse.

The bell rang and I stood up.

"Good luck," I walked out leaving him there in his seat.

Paige and I walked home together. She kept telling me how her life would be over without James. She also said they had their first kiss at Homecoming.

"Did Carlos kiss you?" she asked when we walked into my room.

"Yeah on my cheek," I tapped the cheek he had kissed with my index finger.

To change the subject, Paige offered to flat iron my hair. I didn't care any more so I let her. Just when she finished we heard footsteps running up the stairs.

"We got picked!" James grabbed Paige and spun her around then kissed her softly.

"We're going to L.A!" Logan said with excitement.

"I'm happy for you guys," I said while looking out the window.

"Who's that?" Kendall asked Paige.

"That's Alex!" Paige whispered to him.

"When did her hair get straight?" Logan asked.

"I just straighten it," Paige said happily.

"Stop talking like I'm not here!" I shook my head and turned around. "Congratulations," I hugged each of them, then I hugged Carlos.

"Thanks," he said.

They had all left to pack their things to leave tomorrow morning. Paige had left to spend the day with James. I was alone with my thoughts. I layed on my bed and covered my eyes with my hands. I was happy for them but I didn't want them to leave. I know that being separated from my twin brother will be tough. Also, being separated from Carlos will be tough too. I felt my phone vibrate on the bed and I reached for it without opening my eyes. I opened the phone and finally opened my eyes to read a text from Paige.

"**Carlos is talking to Maya Kendall's house. We're all here and she just showed up. U gonna come thru?" **

I re-read the text. Maya is a nice person but she spent more time with Carlos than I did and I envied her for it.

"**No, I'm going to sleep. I'll see you all tomorrow."**

I put my phone on the table after turning it off and then drifted into sleep on my bed.

I woke up the next morning and took a shower and then got dressed. I ignored eating breakfast again. Soon James woke up and we picked up Paige at her house, picked up Victor at his house, and then left to Kendall's. Kendall's mom and his little sister Katie were going to L.A with them. I hugged Logan, Kendall and James. I tried not to cry as I hugged my twin. He kissed my cheek and I kissed his.

"I'll miss you," I told him.

"I'll miss you too little sis," he laughed.

"You're only older by three minutes!" I shoved him gently. "Here." I handed him a present. It was in blue paper and a yellow bow.

"What's this?"

"Open it and see!"

He ripped open the paper and found a picture frame and inside was the picture my mom had taken of us before we left to Homecoming.

"Remember me!" I smiled as he looked at it.

"Thanks," James hugged me one last time. He then walked to Paige so they could say their goodbyes.

"Where's Carlos?" I looked around.

"Right here," Carlos walked down the street towards me with a smile. He was wearing his black helmet.

I gave him a hug. "Good luck in L.A. I'll miss you," I said softly.

"I'll miss you more," he took his helmet off his head. "Take this."

"Huh? Carlos I cant. You love your helmet."

"To remember me by, I have more helmets."

"This is your favorite one though."

"Now it's yours," he shoved it into my hands.

"Fine."

"Just kiss her!" Paige yelled.

I looked at Carlos who was blushing. I felt my face heat up, I was blushing too.

"Ok, time to go! Everyone in the car!" Ms. Knight said.

"See you soon?" I asked. I felt stupid asking. I knew it would be close impossible to see him soon.

"Yeah," he leaned in and kissed my cheek. _'Stop kissing my cheek!' _I thought. I took a few steps away from the car and stood beside Paige and Victor. Ms. Knight started the car and they drove away.

"C'mon Alex, let's go," Victor said. I know he didn't want me to deal with this heartbreak. Victor and Paige knew I liked Carlos for a long time. Paige had always tried to get me to make the first move, Victor had always tried to protect me. He knew that Carlos wanted to be a singer and would eventually leave so he tried to get me interested in other guys. It never worked, I only have eyes for Carlos. I still do now, even as I watched the car drive him away from me.

**I think I could have done better with this chapter. Well here it is anyway! I know it's short and I'm sorry for that. So what do you people want to see happen in Chapter three? **


	3. Chapter 3: LA

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Three: L.A

**Carlos POV**

While we were in the car my mind was focused on Lexie. Her long hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her gentle laugh.. I shook my head and pulled a helmet out of my bag. I patted it after it was on securely.

"Thinking about her?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, I cant get her off my mind, I thought things would be better this way." I really did. I thought it would be worse if we decided to be together while I'm in L.A. I thought it would be more pain, but it's more pain being without her and being separated from her.

We reached the airport and we boarded the plane. I closed my eyes and all I could see was Lexie's face. I can still remember the first time I called her Lexie. It was in 8th grade.

**Flashback**

_I walked into class and took my seat next to Alex. _

"_Good morning," she said while taking out her notebook. Alex had her usual pony tail style and she wore a baggy T-shirt. She still looked beautiful to me. Alex had gotten her red highlights done the day before. She thought no one noticed, but I did. _

"_Morning Lexie," I smiled at her, hoping that I would get a smile back._

"_What did you call me?" she cocked an eyebrow at me._

"_Lexie. Alex is short for Alexandria, and Lexie is short for Alex and Alexandria," I pulled my notebook out of my bag. _

"_Alex is fine," she looked away. _

"_What about that time you called me 'Carlie'? I think I should be able to call you Lexie," I crossed my arms._

_Alex looked at me and gave it some thought. "Fine, but only you can call me Lexie! No one else!" she pointed a finger at me while she smiled. _

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

_After school we went to play our usual hockey game with the guys. _

"_I want Lexie on my team," I said I put my helmet on._

"_Lexie?" Kendall asked._

"_Me," Alex spoke up._

"_Only I can call her Lexie," I stood up and smiled._

"_Then I get to call you Carlie," Alex stood next to me._

"_But that sounds girly," I made a face._

"_Well, Paige __**has**__ always wanted a life size Barbie.."_

"_I think you would fit the role better." We all laughed when Alex punched me in the arm._

**Present Day**

After a nap I woke up to Kendall nudging me.

"Carlos get up we're here," he said.

"Can we go back?" I asked.

"No. We all know you like Alex but this is a once in a life time opportunity. Alex wouldn't want you to pass this up."

Kendall was right and I hated him for it. Maybe I could do something out here in L.A to bring Lexie to me…

**Alex POV**

Five months later

Being separated from my brother and from Carlos hurt me. James and I haven't been separated a day in our life. I didn't want James and Carlos to go but its what's best for them. They're doing something with their lives. I always admired James, Kendall, Logan and Carlos' voices and I'm proud of them. Now they're the famous boy band "Big Time Rush". Every girl wanted to be with them. I hated going to school these days. People only wanted to be my friend now because he's famous and because I'm Big Time Rush's best friend.

Paige has made me a little more girly these past few months. She used to flat iron my hair for me but then she taught me and I did it on my own. I went back to wearing it up in a pony tail and I still wore my ripped jeans. Sometimes I wore a T-shirt, which just angered Paige. I never went to the rink anymore. It's not the same without the guys. Sometimes Victor and I would play a one on one game but I still missed my friends.

Victor and Paige have been hanging out a lot more now. I stood at home after school and spoke to the guys on webcam. Today Carlos was on, it would be the first time I spoke to him in five months.

"Hey," he was wearing his helmet. I grabbed the helmet he had given me and put it on. "I'm glad you still have it."

"I would never get rid of it," I touched it affectionately.

"So, have you hit the ice lately?" he asked.

"I have, but its not the same without you guys."

"Carlos we have to go Gustavo's calling us!" Logan was in the back round.

I waved, "Hi Logie!"

"Hey Alex! Sorry but we got to take Carlos. We got to get to the studio," Logan said.

"No, it's okay. I understand."

"See you soon Lexie," Carlos smiled and cut the connection. See me soon? It's close to impossible.

That night Paige stood over my house for the weekend. She dyed her hair back to its original color, dirty blond. Paige looked beautiful as a blond and as a brunette. We stood up that night talking about how BTR is doing and how much we missed them. We fell asleep while watching "Grease", one of my favorite movies.

We up the next morning to my dad knocking on the door.

"Alexandria, are you awake?" he asked.

I stretched as I got up. "I am now dad."

"I have some good news for the both of you," my father looked at me and Paige.

"We're moving to L.A. You get to be with your brother again Alexandria," he smiled.

"That's cool, but how is it good for me?" Paige asked. I know she didn't want me to leave too.

"You're father and I work together in photography and art. Our job is being moved to L.A. Someone bought the entire company. You're moving too."

"Oh my gosh!" Paige squealed.

"I get to see.." I wanted to say 'Carlos' but my dad was there. "James. I've missed him so much. Dad this is great news!" I hugged my dad tightly.

"Your cousin Victor is coming with us too. He's an aspiring actor so going to L.A would be good for him," I hadn't noticed my mother walked in until she spoke.

I jumped up and began packing my things quickly.

"Well she's excited," my dad laughed.

"I'll get dressed and so I can go home to pack my things," Paige jumped up quickly.

Soon Paige, Victor, our parents and myself were on the plane. I was so excited, I was shaking. I fell asleep anyway. I awoke in a new place. Someone must have carried me off the plane.

"Paige? Victor?" I called out. I got off the bed and looked around. The room was painted a soft blue. The dressers were white and blue and one had a large mirror. Next to the bed were two doors that were framed white and made of glass. It led out to the balcony. I opened the two doors and looked down. Below me was a large pool filled with laughing, happy teens.

"You're awake," a familiar voice said.

"James!" I turned around and hugged my brother. "I've missed you so much James!"

"I see you went back to your tomboy look," he said while looking at my clothes. I was wearing a Big Time Rush T-shirt that was two sizes bigger than my actual size and my extra pair of ripped jeans. My hair was up in it's usual pony tail. "Love the shirt though."

"Alex!"

"Logan! Kendall!" I ran to them and gave them huge hugs. "It hasn't been the same without you guys!"

"It's not the same with you either Alex," Logan said.

I had just noticed Kendall was holding a girl's hand. She was my height and blond and beautiful.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Alex, this is Jo, my girlfriend," Kendall said.

"It's nice to meet you! I'm Alexandria but **PLEASE** call me Alex," I said while shaking her hand.

"It's great to meet you, Alex. Carlos is always talking about you," Jo said.

"Where is Carlos?" I asked while looking around.

"He should have been here already," Logan said.

"Maybe he's trying to impress the Jennifers again," James said.

"The Jennifers?"

They all told me about the three girls all named Jennifer. They were beautiful but they were stuck up. Carlos tried to get their attention all the time but they never paid him any mind. Jo said he tried to get their attention all the time but when they were all hanging out he only spoke about me.

"She should be in there," I heard Paige's voice outside the room. Carlos walked in and ran up to me once he saw me. He hugged me tightly.

"Lexie! I'm so glad you're here!"

"Yeah, my dad's job got moved here." I didn't want to be released from his hug but he let go and looked at me.

Paige walked in. "C'mon, let's let them catch up. We can go to the pool."

"Wait, wait!" James obviously didn't want us to be alone together, but Paige was pulling him out the room. Then it was just Carlos and I.

"Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?" he asked.

"Umm, how about you show me around?"

"I'll take you to my favorite place," he grabbed my hand and took me out the room.

~BTR~ ~BTR~ ~BTR~ ~BTR~ ~BTR~

Carlos still had my hand in his and we were on a boardwalk by the beach. The sun was setting slowly, making this time with him perfect. He led me down to the shore with a smile on his face. Carlos leaned down and started to splash water at me and soon I did the same. I felt like one of the guys again. We used to have water balloon fights back at home.

"Water war!" he yelled.

"I wont let you win!" I yelled back as I splashed water in his direction.

"I give up!" he began to move his hand as if he were holding a white flag. "I shall call this spot," he made a big 'X' in the ground, "Alexandria! She has won the battle and this is now her land!"

"You idiot," I laughed and shoved his shoulder gently. Before I could let my hand fall to my side he grabbed it and held it in his.

"Alex," he said my name softly, "I'm glad that you're here."

"Me too," I whispered. I felt like my voice was fading as I stared into his chocolate brown eyes.

"You moved here because of me. I bothered my boss' boss until he decided to buy the company your dad works for. I continued to bother him until he said he would. I just wanted you here with me again." he gave my hand a tight squeeze.

"You did that for me?" It seemed unreal.

"Yeah, these past five months have been crappy without you." he smiled.

"Carlos, that's so sweet. But couldn't you have gotten fired for doing that?"

"Yeah," he shrugged.

I shoved his shoulder again. "Don't do that! Don't give up your dream for me Carlos!"

"To make that dream a reality I need you here with me. Without you it felt like I was still dreaming," he put his hand on my cheek. "Lexie..Alex..no…Alexandria," he had a long pause.

"Yes?" I felt weird when he called me 'Alex' or 'Alexandria'. He's the only one I allow to call me 'Lexie'.

There was a long awkward silence before he spoke again. "Alexandria Diamond, I love you."

I heard a little audience inside my head go _'Awww'_. I was so happy I couldn't speak. I felt his other hand touch my other cheek. Carlos then slowly leaned down and kissed my lips. I felt my cheeks erupt in a bright pink.

"Carlos, I love you too," I hugged him and he then kissed the top of my head. "I tried to tell you the day you left but you stopped me. I didn't want us to be apart. I wanted to stop you but I couldn't. I couldn't get in the way of your dreams."

"Awww!" Carlos and I turned and saw our friends standing on the boardwalk watching us.

"Oh my gosh," I turned around, embarrassed.

"You go girl!" Paige yelled out to me.

"Woooo!" Victor called out loudly.

"You better take care of my sister!" James said.

"And **you **better take care of Paige!" I replied.

James and Paige had started to blush. Feeling victorious, I crossed my arms and made my way up the boardwalk.

"I guess there is a girl deep down under all that tomboy," James said while poking my arm.

I punched him in the arm, "You act like more of a girl then I do! Always staring in the mirror and fixing your hair."

"Abuse!" James said while rubbing his arm.

"Take down some notes and start being more like a girl," Victor said.

I raised my fist at him and he took a step back, everyone laughed.

"A girly Alex. Hmm, what would we call her? Would we call her Alexandria all the time or would we call her Lexie?" Paige said.

"Don't make me punch you," I said.

Everyone, even Carlos, all looked away and began to imagine this.

"It wouldn't be **that** bad," Kendall said.

"Nu-uh, not gonna happen," I shook my head.

"Just one day?" Logan asked.

"You all got you 'girly Alex for a day' at Homecoming," I shook my head again.

"That was five months ago!" Paige said.

"Well it was one day!" I crossed my arms.

I felt Carlos wrap his arms around my waist and rest his head on my shoulder. "Guys she's fine the way she is."

"She is, but don't you want to see a girl side of Alex?" Victor asked.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt." Carlos said.

"Carlos!"

"It wouldn't! How about we all go to dinner somewhere nice. Somewhere Lexie **has** to wear something nice. And you cant be cranky about it either Lexie."

I hated dressing up and they all knew it. I only dressed up at graduations and at Homecoming. Why get dressed up for one night? Graduations I understand. Those were important moments for my parents.

I wish my friends would stop trying to get me to change. Just let me dress and act how I want. "Fine," I growled. If it would get them to drop the whole 'girly Alex' thing, I was all for it.

**Crappy chapter I know. I'm sick right now so I apologize for my lack of creativity at the moment. I'm also having a case of writers block. Feel free to leave reviews or messages to me for new ideas. I already have one idea that was given to me by my brother Victor, who the character, Victor Diamond, is based on. I just need more ideas to help me go with the story. Please review and tell me what you think about the story. Chapter four wont be posted until my writer's block goes away. Sorry guys!**


	4. Chapter 4: First Date

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Four: First Date

**Alex POV**

Paige ended up buying me a whole of new clothes. Tank tops, some skin tight tops and regular jeans. When she was out buying more clothes, I grabbed a pair of jeans and pair of scissors and sat on my bed. I cut the jeans on the left leg. Once I moved to the right leg of the jeans Paige walked in.

"Alexandria!" She only called me by my full name when she was mad at me. I sat there, frozen like a child that had gotten caught doing something she shouldn't have been doing.

Then I smiled. "Oh c'mon, some girls wear ripped jeans," I gestured to the pair of ripped jeans she was wearing.

"Yeah, but not almost everyday!" she snatched the scissors out of my hand. "You ruined a perfectly good pair of jeans Alex!"

"They're my jeans," I crossed my arms.

"Why is your hair up?"

"Because it's comfortable in a pony tail," Paige pulled my scrunchie out of my hair, letting my hair loose. "Paige!" I slapped her hand.

"Ow!" she said sarcastically. "You have to get used to being more feminine."

"Why?" I asked as if I didn't remember.

"For everyone. You said you'd do it if it got us to leave you alone," she rolled her eyes.

"Right," I said while tapping my head as if a light bulb had appeared over my head.

"Cut the sarcasm Alex. Look at this," Paige dug into a bag and pulled out a blue top with a pair of dark blue jeans. I hated the shirt already. I could tell it was one of those skin tight shirts. She then dug into another bag and pulled out a dark blue denim jacket.

"Carlos is taking you out tonight and this is what you're wearing," she smiled.

"Aww, thanks mom," I laughed. Paige made a face. "Wait, how do you know he's taking me out tonight?"

"Well if you weren't busy ruining good clothes, you would have had time to check your phone. When I went to their apartment to see James, Carlos said he sent you an IM asking you on a date tonight but you never responded," Paige picked up the jeans I had made into my victim with my scissors.

I grabbed my phone and looked at the text.

**Carlos: "Tonight, just me and you. You up for it?"**

**Me: "Duh!"**

I laughed after I replied and put my phone to the side.

"So there **is** a girl inside that tomboy," Paige pointed at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"You got excited just from an IM from him. And you did a girly laugh. Ohh, someone's in love." In love? It's too soon to know. Loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. I know I love Carlos, but am I in love with him?

I decided to change the subject. "Are you in love with my brother?"

Paige blushed and turned around. Her blond hair twirled as she turned to hide her face. "I don't know. It's been five months since I've seen him."

"Well it's the same with me and Carlos. Stop bothering me about my relationship and go get yours stronger. I know my brother loves you. He doesn't even remember to fix his hair sometimes because he's too busy thinking about you," we both laughed. If someone took James' attention away from his hair we knew it was someone important. Not even I could get him to leave his hair alone.

"You're right. Now go, go get dressed!" Paige pulled me off the bed and gave me a light push towards the bathroom.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR

I came out of a refreshing shower and put on the clothes Paige had laid out for me. I felt like I was back in elementary school, when my mom used to lay out clothes for me in the morning. I walked out the bathroom after I was done and walked into my room. I looked at the clock, it was 7:16 PM.

"You look great! Now just put this on.." Paige walked up to me and slid one plastic blue bracelet and one gray plastic bracelet on my left hand. Paige then walked behind me and started messing my hair.

"Good, you didn't wet your hair so it's still straight," she said while brushing it. Paige went to the dresser and pulled something out then walked back to me and grabbed my earlobe. She put in gold earrings that resembled snowflakes. The center was silver. I touched my ears, which now felt heavy since I'm not used to wearing earrings. While I was touching my ears, Paige pulled out white, gray and blue sneakers.

"I thought I should go easy on you, so no shoes this time," she said while handing them to me.

"Thanks?" I put on the sneakers after putting on my socks.

"Aww, you look like a girl! I'm a miracle worker!"

"What's that supposed to mean? I didn't look like a girl before?"

She made a face. "You did, but you look girly now. There's a difference."

My phone vibrated on the table and I picked it up. It was a text from Carlos.

"**Meet you in the lobby."**

"He's downstairs," I told Paige.

"Go!" She pushed me out of the apartment. I walked into the elevator, feeling a bit awkward when guys in the hallway stared at me. I got off when I reached the lobby and found Carlos standing in front of the elevator.

Whoa.." he said while he looked me up and down. I raised my eyebrows as my hands patted the sides of legs, feeling awkward once again.

"I'm sorry, you just look so different," he said. I stepped out of the elevator, before it could close. I stared back at him. He was wearing a white and gray button down shirt and blue jeans. He didn't have his shirt tucked in.

He held out his hand to me and I stared at him confused. "Hold my hand silly," he laughed. I grabbed his hand and sighed at my stupidity. I wasn't used to this. Carlos is my first boyfriend so I don't know about all this boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. All the other times he had grabbed my hand and I just went along with it.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"How about we go get some dinner, then I can take you somewhere else?"

"Sounds good," I smiled and he kissed my cheek.

"Ok let's go," Carlos walked out of the Palm Woods Hotel and led me to the limo. We got in and sat side by side. I told him about how kids were being shallow back at our old school. They only wanted to be my friend because I'm BTR's best friend. After talking, Carlos had leaned in closer and we starting making out. It was weird at fist since it was my first time making out with anyone, then it felt natural and right. It wasn't sloppy like some of those disgusting kisses you see on TV. Whenever Paige and I saw one of those movies she would always say, "Eww, learn how to kiss!" and throw a pillow at the TV.

Soon we were at the restaurant. Well it wasn't really a restaurant. It's a fast food restaurant. Carlos knows I'm not picky and he didn't have to take me anywhere fancy. We got out the limo and Carlos held the door to the restaurant open for me.

"Why thank you," I said.

"Only the best for you," he said as he walked in behind me.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR

The waitress walked to our table with a notepad and a pencil. She was a little taller than me and her hair was brown, with some blond highlights.

"Can I take your order?" she said with an attitude.

"We'll have two burgers, some fries and two cokes please," Carlos looked at me the whole time he ordered.

"Oh my gosh!" The waitresses voice was different this time. "Y-You're Carlos Garcia! I'm **so** in love with you! We should totally go out sometime!"

"I'm sorry, but I already have a girlfriend," Carlos' hand reached over the table and then held mine. The waitress made a 'tch' noise and gave me a dirty look before she went to get our food. I wanted to get up and hurt her but Carlos stopped me.

"She's not worth it Lexie," he flashed his pearly whites.

We sat and ate our food and talked happily. Then we started throwing French fries at other people and when they turned around we started talking again. Then we started throwing fries at each other until we decided to leave. When we got outside Carlos told the driver we'd walk back to the hotel after hanging out some more. The driver nodded and left.

Carlos walked with me, hand in hand, to the beach. We sat on a bench at the boardwalk and my head was resting on his shoulder.

"This night has been perfect," he whispered.

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing," I whispered back.

We took off our shoes and walked to the shore. I felt the soft squishy sand between my toes and the cold water being pushed to the shore and then pulled back into the ocean. Carlos grabbed my face gently and kissed me. I closed my eyes at the touch of his lips.

"C'mon, lets get back to the hotel," he said before taking my hand in his. Our fingers locked and we walked back up the boardwalk.

"I want to wash my feet before we go," I said while making a face.

"Yeah, me too," Carlos laughed. "Go to the women's room and wash your feet, I'll go to the guy's room. Meet you back here okay?"

"Okay," he kissed me one more time then we separated and walked away.

I walked into the bathroom and splashed water on my feet. Then I grabbed some paper towels and dried them off and put my shoes on. I walked to the mirror and started messing with my shirt. It showed the curves of my body since it was a perfect fit. I was used to hiding behind large T-shirts. I gently touched my hair, which was now wavy. I was also used to keeping it up, out of my face. A part of me was starting to like this new look, another part of me hated it. The hate part was larger.

I walked out the bathroom and made my way to where Carlos told me to meet him. He wasn't here yet. I was alone and it felt creepy. I opened my phone and checked the time. It was 9:48 PM. Had we really been out that long? Time really just flew by. I sent Carlos a text message.

"**I'm here, where are you?"**

He replied quickly. **"I'm still in the bathroom. I got sand in my shoes. Lol Sorry, give me 2 more minutes."**

I laughed to myself as I read the text. Leave it to Carlos to get sand in his shoes. He **had **dropped his shoes in the sand instead of placing them down gently like I had done. My phone vibrated, telling me I had gotten a new text message from Carlos.

"**I'm on my way."**

I sat down on the bench as I waited. I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder tightly. "Oww," I said as I felt the hand squeeze my shoulder.

"You were here with the pop star boy, huh?" a scruffy voice said.

"W-what?"

"Yeah, you could help me. Where's your little boyfriend?" he asked.

"I-I dunno," I lied. His hand moved down to my wrist and he yanked me off the bench. I attempted to kick him between the legs but he took a swift step back.

"I don't think you wanna try that missy," he put his hand between his stomach and his pants and pulled out a gun. "Don't piss me off. I need help with my gambling debts and your little boyfriend is going to help me. Now where is he?"

"I don't know! He left! H-he broke up with me!" I lied. I made some fake sobbing noises. I hope Carlos gets sidetracked on his way here. Who am I kidding? It's almost 10 o'clock, no stands would be open. I just didn't want Carlos to get hurt. He dug into my pocket and took out my phone. He stared at it then threw it as hard as he could towards the ocean. Asshole.

"Don't lie to me!" he pointed the gun at my stomach.

"I'm right here."

"Good," the man's voice was pleased. "If you want your girlfriend back safe and sound go get me some money and meet me back here. If you get the cops or anyone else involved I'll shoot her."

"I'm not leaving her here alone with you. And I don't have any money," Carlos spoke to the man as if he were an idiot. Well, he is.

"You're lying!" the man roared.

"What are you stupid? I've only been singing for five months," Carlos' face was serious.

"I'll shoot her!"

I took my chance. While he was focused on Carlos I kicked the man between the legs with all my might. The man fell and dropped the gun. The gun fell off the boardwalk and onto the beach below. I ran to Carlos' side just as the man started to get up. He ran to Carlos and punched him in the face. Carlos took a step back and then punched him back. The man was bigger than Carlos so I was worried for him. All this time I had acted like a guy my whole life. Looking at myself now, I knew that acting like a guy could never give me a guy's strength to help him now. But that didn't mean I couldn't try.

Carlos continued to punch the guy as hard as he could until he fell back. I ran over to them and stomped on the guy's stomach and kicked him in the face. "That's for my phone asshole!"

The guy grabbed my leg and pulled me down. I landed on the hard wood. I landed so hard it felt like I couldn't get up. My back throbbed in pain. The man then got up and punched Carlos in the nose. I got up slowly, in pain. I saw blood splattered across Carlos' white shirt. Blood was dripping out of his nose, down to his shirt. Some drops of blood were on the boardwalk and on the man's shirt. The man now punched Carlos on the side of his head, where his temple is.

"Carlos!" I ran over to him as he fell back onto the hard wood. The man then started getting closer to me.

"N-no, go away," I said. I wish I could have threatened him by saying 'I'll call the cops' but the asshole had thrown my phone away. I didn't want to leave Carlos here and run away either.

**Carlos POV**

When I woke up I was alone on the boardwalk. I felt dry blood on my nose and my white shirt was covered in blood. My head was spinning and my sight was blurry. It was then that I had remembered what happened. I looked around quickly.

"Lexie?" I stood up fast. I didn't care that it would hurt my head, I had to find her.

"Lexie?" I looked down, hoping my head would stop spinning but I found my phone there. I remember having it in my pocket. The notepad on my phone was open.

"**Want your girl? Bring me the money. If you bring the cops, she's dead"** It read. After the message there was an address.

"DAMNIT!" I screamed. I knew that yelling wouldn't help anyone but I needed to let it out. I had to help Lexie no matter what. I know what she was probably thinking when she left. She probably was thinking about doing anything she could to keep me safe. I wish she stopped acting so tough. But I shouldn't blame her. I got her into this mess and I'm going to get her out of it. No matter what.

**I hope this chapter was good for you guys. :)**** A big thanks goes to 21Soccer-Diva21. She gave me an idea for this chapter and I just changed it a little bit. Thanks for making my writers block go away! You were a big help! So what do you think will happen to Alex in Chapter 5? **


	5. Chapter 5: The Warehouse

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Five: The Warehouse

**Carlos POV**

I made my way back to the hotel, thinking about what to do next. I didn't know how to get Lexie back safely. It's might fault she's in this mess. I need a plan to get her out of it. I got her into this so I have to get her out of it. This whole night was a good night gone bad.

Soon I was back at the Palm Woods. I didn't know how I was going to tell everyone Lexie was kidnapped and that if I call the cops she would die. People who were still hanging out in the lobby stared at me and gasped as I made my way to apartment 2J. I unlocked the door with my key and walked inside.

Logan was sitting on the couch. "Hey man, how was yo-" he paused and stared at me. Bloody nose, bloody shirt. I would stare at me too if I were him. "What happened Carlos?" I took off the bloody shirt and tossed it in a nearby hamper.

"I lost Alex," I said depressed.

"What do you mean you lost Alex? She break up with you and broke your nose?" Logan laughed.

"No Logan! She's gone!" I yelled, "Gone because of me!" I finally get the girl I've been dreaming about since kindergarten and she gets kidnapped by a psycho who wants money I don't have.

Now James, Victor and Kendall walked in. "What do you mean my sister's gone? What happened?" James was heated. "Did she run off on her own?"

I remained quiet, trying to find a way to make the words come out. James walked over to me and pushed me against the wall. I didn't care. I deserved what was coming to me. I left Lexie alone and some creep took advantage of that. Kendall and Logan pulled him off of me after James muttered some threats.

"Answer him. Where's Alex?" now Victor was interrogating me. He looked like he was going to attack me next. I deserved it. I know Lexie would be the one to punch me if she were here now. Not because some psycho kidnapped her, but because I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself and because I'm waiting for her family to attack me.

Soon the words just spilled out. As I said it I felt like I was reliving it. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and showed the guys the message the man had left me on my notepad.

"Guys, my parents can **not** find out about this," James said.

"What are we going to do? We don't have any money!" Logan said.

"Wait a second," Kendall said, "I have a plan."

**Alex POV**

The man grabbed my wrist and yanked me away from Carlos.

"Why do you care? You said he dumped you?" the man teased. He grabbed Carlos' phone out of his pocket and started messing with it.

"What? Are you going to toss his phone at the beach too?" I challenged.

"Stop trying to be Mr. Tough Guy!" he tossed Carlos' phone on the ground and then he smacked me.

"It's Ms. Tough **Girl**!" That hit hurt. The man started dragging me away from Carlos, who was passed out on the boardwalk. _'Be safe'_ I thought as I was being yanked away. There was on thing I was relieved about. The idiot forgot he left the gun behind.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

He brought me to a old warehouse. This was like the movies. Guy kidnaps a girl for some weird motive, brings her to the old warehouse where they hope no one will find them.

I tried more back talk but the man just smacked me around when I did. I was pretty sure I had a bruise on my left cheek. The guy grabbed some rope he found and tied me around a pole.

"What no chair?" I was going down without a fight. Even if the fight happened to be verbal. He kicked me in the stomach for that comment. I fought back the vomit that was threatening to come up. I really regret eating that burger earlier.

"So, why did you gamble before?" I was trying to stall. Eventually the police would come, right?

He gave me a look. "An addiction?" I asked.

"Yes. Sorry kid but I need to do this. It's the only way I can get my family back."

Something told me he wasn't that bright. Well I know that in my future, if I ever get a gambling debt I'm going to kidnap a seventeen year old girl who's dating a singer to get some money so I can get my family back! NOT! Was this guy a drunk too? Who goes after a singer's money when they've only been singing for five months? Idiot.

"My wife left me and took my kids because people are after me. I heard they moved out here so I followed. I need your pop star boyfriend's money so I can get my family back. I cant ask-" he stopped. Something about him was familiar but I couldn't remember what.

"Ask who?" I was curious now. And I desperately hoped the cops would bust down the warehouse door any minute. Any minute now..Seriously, now would be nice!

"Never mind! You're boyfriend's taking too long!" the man walked through a door then came back, this time with another gun.

**Paige POV**

It was 10:54PM and Alex still wasn't back. Either she and Carlos lost track of time or something had gone wrong. Yet, if things had gone wrong Alex would have come straight back here and tell me everything. She would have done the same if things were perfect. I'm so confused. I hope her date was going well. Maybe they went back to apt 2J?

I slipped on some shoes and left my apartment. I walked down the hall to apartment 2J and knocked on the door.

"What do you mean my sister's gone? What happened?" I heard James' voice from the other side of the door. I faintly heard more talking between the boys but I couldn't make it out. They were talking too fast. I knocked again but harder this time.

"Guys, my parents can **not** find out about this," I heard James speak again.

"What are we going to do? We don't have any money!" Now I heard Logan.

"Wait a second, I have a plan," This time it was Kendall. What were they talking about? Alex, gone? Money? I started banging on the door.

Carlos opened the door. He had a bloody nose and his eyes looked stressed.

"Paige," Carlos ran his fingers through his short dark hair. His tone of voice said 'I don't want to deal with you right now'.

"Where's Alex?" I asked him. He just stepped to the side and let me in.

I walked up to James, "Where's Alex?"

James sat me down as Carlos went into the bathroom to clean his face. He told me everything and I felt like I was falling. My best friend was kidnapped by some creep. Alex and I have been best friends since we were babies. She's the sister I never got, and now she's gone. Carlos walked out of the bathroom and I hugged him. He must be feeling like crap right about now. He's in love with Alex and everyone knows it. I let go of Carlos and then hugged Victor. Alex is also like a sister to him. They have the perfect brother/sister relationship. Argue, then start joking again. Now I was hugging James. He had been separated from his twin sister for five months, which was extremely hard for him. I know it was hard for Alex, all she did was talk about how she missed her twin when ever we hung out.

I turned to Kendall, "So, I heard you have a plan?"

**Carlos POV**

I was taking a big chance right now. I had a duffle bag swung over my shoulder. This is the only way to get Alex back. I had to take this chance before the man would get impatient.

When I got to the address the man had left for me, I found myself in front of an old warehouse. I opened the door slowly and light filled the dark entrance. I found Alex tied to a pole at the far end of the warehouse. I took a few steps closer to her and then I saw her face. She had a bruise on her left cheek.

"Alex!" I knelt down in front of her and untied her. "Where is that psycho?" I asked.

"He's in there," she pointed to a door on the right. "Man, my butt's numb. Let's just leave before he notices you got here. He has another gun Carlos."

While Lexie tried to get up, the door she pointed to creaked open. The man walked out, aiming a gun at me. Seriously, where does he keep these things?

"Hey, I got the money," I tapped the duffle back with my right hand, my other hand held Lexie's, "no reason to shoot."

"Have the girl bring it to me," he said.

I didn't know what to do so I gave Lexie the bag. She slowly got up and brought it to the man. He shook the bag a few times.

"How much is in here?" he asked.

I cleared my throat, "Twenty grand."

Lexie walked back to me and I put an arm around her waist to pull her closer to me.

"How did you get the money?" he asked.

"Does it matter? You got it, end of story," I just wanted to get out of here. "Can we go now?"

"How do I know you wont call the cops when you leave?" This guy was just full of questions.

"Because you'll probably be gone by then so it makes no sense to."

"Get out of here before I change my mind," he said. Just before Alex and I reached the door, a siren went off.

"This is the police, come out with your hands up," I recognized my dad's voice.

"Shit, we were almost out," I whispered. I rather have my dad show up when we were outside, not still inside with a psycho who has a gun.

I looked over my shoulder and the man had the gun aimed between my shoulder blades. I turned around completely and pulled Lexie behind me. While still aiming the gun at me, he unzipped the duffle bag. His face turned red, infuriated.

"Gym socks?" he roared. "You didn't give me the money, now your girl's going to die!" He walked up to us and attempted to push me but I wouldn't move. I punched him in the face but he had already grabbed Lexie and pulled her away from me.

**Paige POV**

Kendall's idea wasn't so bad. Give the guy a bag full of gym socks, grab Lexie and get out. From what Carlos had said, the man wasn't that bright so it was the perfect plan. Carlos told us to give him a few minutes, then follow him and bring the cops with us. At first James was against it because his parents would find out. If they found out, they would kill James once Alex was safe and sound. Why kill him? Because to them, Alex is their baby girl. And after that they would keep her locked up in the hotel to keep her safe.

We went to the police station as soon as he left and luckily his dad was there. It was a good thing his dad transferred to L.A so he could be nearby his son. Because he knew all of us he spoke to us. The other guys had ignored us. It's a good thing when your best friend's dad is a cop.

We told him everything that had happened. He sent some detectives to the beach and they found the gun. Soon after we all got into cop cars and drove to the warehouse. We all got out and I felt tears beginning to crawl out of my eyes when I saw ambulance trucks were around too. A cop told me they were only there in case someone got hurt.

"This is the police, come out with your hands up," Carlos' dad said into a megaphone.

A bunch of cops aimed their guns at the entrance.

A loud _**BANG! **_was heard from the inside. It was a gunshot. I began to cry into James' shirt as he wrapped his arms around me. I looked up and I saw he was holding back tears. He was trying to be strong for me. Victor swore under his breath and his eyes were now red. Logan had his right hand balled into a fist and it remained frozen at this mouth. Kendall's emerald green eyes were wide as he stared at the entrance to the warehouse. The cops then stormed the place.

**Alex POV**

I tried to shake the man off of me but his grip was tight. He aimed the gun at my stomach. I couldn't play 'Ms. Tough Girl' at this moment. She lost this battle.

"You should have brought the money!" he yelled.

"Alex!" Carlos was running to me and the man. That's when I realized he was calling me 'Alex'. He only called me 'Alex' when something extremely serious was happening.

_**BANG!**_

I looked down and saw a dark red liquid flowing out of my stomach. I looked up at Carlos slowly, then looked back down. Everything was getting blurry. I couldn't focus my vision anymore. I saw a bright light fill the room. Someone had opened the door to the warehouse.

"Alex.." I heard Carlos' soothing voice and I felt my head being lifted gently off the ground.

"Lexie.." now I felt him softly slapping my cheek, "C'mon, stay with me here."

**Carlos POV**

I lifted Lexie's head gently off the ground. "Alex, Lexie..c'mon stay with me here.."

The cops were inside already, grabbing the man and putting him in handcuffs. I would have gone after him and attacked him but Lexie needed me. Soon my friends had run into the warehouse followed by some paramedics.

"Oh god, Alex," James ran to his sister and held her hand. Two paramedics then lifted Alex onto a gurney. Kendall continued to stare at the man. Once they were about to drag him out of the warehouse, Kendall spoke up. "Dad? Is that you?"

**So was this chapter good for you? I really hope so. I feel like it's bad since I kept jumping from one POV to another POV. This is the first time I've done more than one POV in a story so I think it's bad. Whatever, I'll you, my readers decide. I'm having a bit of writers block again so feel free to leave reviews with ideas or PMs with some ideas for the story. A big thanks goes to my brother Victor for helping me a bit. Thanks little bro. Also, I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I've been working on this story all day since I've been having writers block. My brother Victor has been helping me but he tells me ideas I already have written down sometimes. lol **


	6. Chapter 6: Tears

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Six: Tears

I held Carlos' warm inviting hang as tight as I could. It was warm and welcoming, just like it always was. He put his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I giggled. Then he looked over my shoulder and his eyes widened. His lips were moving, but I couldn't hear anything. I squinted my eyes and leaned in closer, but still couldn't hear. I attempted to turn around but Carlos kept a tight grip on me. Suddenly I could hear his voice again.

"Just leave us alone," Carlos said. He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me behind him, but my feet wouldn't move.

"Carlos," I said, but he didn't respond. Now he couldn't hear me. I turned my body slowly to finally face who Carlos was talking to. It was a tall man with blond hair and green eyes. He had a five o' clock shadow and a few scars on his face. I turned to face Carlos again and he seemed farther away. He was now running towards me saying, "Move Lexie!" But when I turned around to look at the man again all I heard was a loud _**BANG! **_and I felt severe pain in my stomach.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

"Hey, she's waking up!" this voice was familiar but my brain wouldn't allow me to identify it. I tried to open my eyes but all I saw were white lights so I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Don't strain yourself," the familiar voice said. I heard someone's footsteps as they walked into the room.

"Can you tell me your name?" this was a new voice, one I didn't know. My name? Who was this person?

"My name is Alex.." my voice was scratchy. No one spoke, so I guess they want my whole name. "Alexandria Marie Diamond."

"Good," the new voice said. "You can see her now." Now I heard many footsteps getting louder.

"You all cant go in at once. A few at a time."

"I'm so glad you're okay!" another familiar voice. I opened my eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the light.

"Mom? Dad?" I said it slowly.

"Yes honey, it's me," my mother said gently as she stroked my hair. Wait..where am I? I looked around. Monitors, white lights, white walls, me in one of those stupid night gowns. A hospital?

"Mom..what happened?" as soon as I said it I remembered. Weird guy, Carlos, the warehouse.

"Where's Carlos?"

"He's ok, he was here the whole time. He was also the one who told us you woke up." my mother said. He's okay? Then I remembered everything. The man had a gun and he had shot me when he realized Carlos tricked him. I quickly started feeling my stomach.

"Honey it's okay, they got the bullet out," my father said it softly.

"Don't traumatize her!" my mother said.

"I didn't do anything to her! That boy got her into this mess!" my father replied.

"Dad! Don't call him that boy! He's only 'that boy' to you now because I'm dating him. I knew him since we were babies so he isn't just a boy to me," When I yelled I felt my body shaking.

"Ok, we can talk about this later Alexandria," he said.

"No! End of discussion now! I don't want to talk about this later. What happened to me is no ones fault," I sat up.

"Ok, ok," he said it softly. My mother walked to the side of my bed and fixed my pillows.

"Your brother and your friends are here sweetie," my mother said. "You want to see them now?" I nodded. My parents left and Paige and Victor walked in. Paige ran up to me and hugged me tight. She wouldn't let go.

"Paige, you're killing me here!"

"Oh, sorry," she laughed lightly and let go of me. "Don't scare me like that again!"

"How're you doing Alex?" Victor asked.

"I'm okay, had a nightmare before I woke up."

"You'll be fine, you're a strong girl," Victor smiled at me.

After talking with them for a while Kendall, Logan and James walked in. James' eyes were red like my mothers had been and his hair was a mess. He walked over to me quickly and hugged me.

"I thought I was going to loose my little sister," he whispered.

"Oh please, you're only older by three minutes," I whispered back. A few tears slid down his cheeks. James leaned back and I wiped them away with my thumb.

"C'mon, you have to look good, even in a hospital," he took out his hand held mirror.

"Oh put that thing away, why don't you fix your own hair." James quickly pulled out his lucky comb.

Logan laughed and handed me a glass of water. "I'm glad you're okay Alex," he said.

"Thanks Logie." To my surprise, I drank the whole glass. Kendall was quiet the whole time.

"Kenny, you okay?" I asked. I then patted the side of my bed for him to sit down. He shook his head.

"Alex, it was my dad," he whispered. Logan and James were now quiet.

"How about we go find her something to eat, she must be hungry," Logan said while looking at James. James kissed my forehead and he and Logan left.

"What're you talking about Kenny?" I asked as he handed me another glass of water.

"It was my dad that shot you," he sat next to me, "It's ok if you hate me."

"Why would I hate you for it? It's not your fault so don't blame yourself." I laid back and let out a sigh of relief. It felt comfortable to let my back relax again after sitting up for awhile.

"I guess you're right," he smiled. "I'll let you rest now."

"Kenny."

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever think it's your fault." Kendall smiled again then got up and walked out.

I tried to close my eyes to sleep but all I saw was what happened in the warehouse.

"Hey," it was the same familiar voice from before. I turned slightly since the wires monitoring my body prevented me from moving too much.

"Hey," I smiled at the beautiful boy. He was carrying balloons and teddy bears and a bouquet of flowers. He dropped the teddy bears and the flowers and let the balloons float to the ceiling when he heard my scratchy voice reply to him. Carlos then walked over to me quickly and kissed my lips with a strong passion. He pulled away and stared into my eyes. He moved my hair out of my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I thought I was going to loose you," he began to cry.

"I'm fine Carlos," I wiped away his tears.

"But you weren't before! It killed me inside when you were shot. I wish he shot me instead."

"I'm fine," I kissed him gently. Carlos walked over to were he had dropped everything and brought it to me. He placed the flowers beside me and surrounded me with balloons and teddy bears. James and Logan then walked in with a tray of food.

"Yuk! That's hospital food!" I made a face. "I'm not hungry," I lied.

"You have to be hungry, you've been sleeping for hours," Logan said. Logan sat next to me with the tray. I shook my head, which made me dizzy.

"Relax," Logan fed me a piece of broccoli. Ew, I hate broccoli, but I ate it anyway.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

After a while, which felt like forever, I was released from the hospital. My parents picked me up and dropped me off at the Palm Woods. Ms. Knight and Katie apologized to me many times when they had heard what happened to me. Katie asked to see my wound and they ended up apologizing again. I didn't want them to feel like it was their fault or to feel sorry for me.

Being at home was worse. Whenever my dad brought up Carlos as 'that boy' or 'just a boy', we'd get into an argument. I never argued with my dad and he never got mad at me for things. James always said it's because I'm 'daddy's little girl'. I think it's more like 'daddy's little tomboy'.

"Hey," I said as Kendall opened the apartment door to 2J.

"Paige and Victor are already here. You ready?" he asked. I nodded. Today was the first day we would be allowed in the studio while Big Time Rush was recording. Everyone wanted me to stay home to rest more but I refused.

We got to the studio and Gustavo, their boss, is either a workaholic or just mean.

"You guys were great!" Paige said before she kissed James. Carlos didn't look at me or speak to me. He just walked out the room.

"I told you not to wear that T-shirt," Paige said while making a face at me. Paige has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, but right now I just wanted to punch her in the face. I thought after everything that had happened to me, she would leave the 'making Alex more girly' alone. It couldn't have been a simple T-shirt that made him ignore me. He's been ignoring me for a few days now.

"Leave her alone Paige," Victor gave her a look.

"Sorry," Paige said, but I was already making my way to the door to follow Carlos. I looked down the hall and didn't see him. I walked outside and found him standing there with his helmet on.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I had startled him.

Carlos turned around slowly to face me. "I'm not ignoring you."

"Cut the crap, everyone's noticed." He remained quiet. "I wasn't in the hospital because I'm blind Carlos. I can see perfectly fine."

"..I've always loved that about you," he finally said.

"Huh?"

"You're not afraid to say what's on your mind, Even if it's hurtful to others."

"What does that have to do with you ignoring me?" He was confusing me.

"Maybe..we should spend some time apart…" he whispered, "It was my fault, I cant let that happen again.."

"Why is everyone blaming themselves!" Suddenly I felt my eyes fill with tears. I never cried before. The last time I cried I was nine. That's when dressed more like a girly girl. My mom got me bright summer dresses, and little hair accessories and she used to do my hair everyday. I was standing on a swing even though James told me not to. My foot had slipped and I fell hard. Kids laughed at me and pointed their fingers as I laid on the ground in pain. Kids can be cruel. That was the last time I cried. After that, I acted normal when I had been hurt. Inside I felt pain, but I never showed it. I didn't want to be weak. It wasn't long after that, that I had raided James' closet for his clothes he didn't wear anymore. After that my mom took the hint and got me T-shirts. I had refused to wear my old clothes.

"Lexie.." Carlos said softly.

"It was no ones fault!" I yelled.

"If you spend less time with me then you wont get into trouble."

"So James should break up with Paige too?" I said it with sarcasm, even as the tears began to fall.

He got closer to me and reached to touch my cheek.

"Don't touch me!" I smacked his hand away.

"I cant let you get hurt because of me, I was an idiot to leave you alone. I wont let it happen again, and to not let it happen again I have to let you go," he was staring at the ground.

"You cant let me get hurt?" I cleared my throat, "Well guess what. **You** just hurt me." I began to walk away from the studio.

"Lexie, please don't go alone," Carlos began to follow me.

I turned around. "Why because I might get hurt? News flash Carlos! The pain of getting shot can not compare to how much you hurt me. Emotional pain is so much more worse than physical pain." With that, I turned around and walked away.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

After walking around for awhile, I found myself in front of the police station. I felt my new cell phone my parents bought me vibrate in my pocket.** "Incoming Call: Carlos Garcia"** the screen read. I ignored the call and turned off my phone.

Above, the clouds were gray and depressing as it began to rain. I saw Kendall turn the corner and almost bump into me.

"Alex, what happened?" he asked. "You just got out the hospital a few days ago and now you're out here without an umbrella." he paused, "And you were crying?" Kendall put the umbrella over me to shield me from the rain. I grabbed the handle and moved the umbrella a bit so it could cover us both. Kendall then took off his sweater and handed it to me.

"Kenny no," I shook my head slowly.

"So stubborn," he muttered while putting the sweater over my shoulders. "Why were you crying?" I didn't speak. Then Kendall nodded, saying he understood. Then he asked me to come inside with him and I nodded.

We saw Officer Garcia as he walked over to us when we entered.

"Alex, is everything okay?" he asked. I wiped away the last of my tears, reminders of his son, nodded.

"Mr. Garcia," Kendall said, "can we see my…my father?"

Officer Garcia led us to the cells. He left Kendall and I alone in a room while he went to get Kendall's father.

"If you don't want to be here we can leave," Kendall said.

"It's ok Kendall, I know you need closure."

Officer Garcia walked in with Kendall's father. His father was wearing the usual orange jumpsuit they wear in prison and he had handcuffs behind his back.

"Kendall," he said as he sat down. Then he looked at me and put his head down. "I thought you died."

"Nope, still kicking," I replied.

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Why? Because you have a conscience now?" Kendall said.

"Ken, I didn't mean to shoot your friend or use your other friend. It was all for you, your mother and your sister."

"To you, my name is Kendall. And none of this was for us. It was all so you could get out of your gambling debts! Why do you think we all left?" Kendall had his hands balled into fists.

"Ken.."

"My name is Kendall!"

"Son, it was all for you," he said.

"We may have the same DNA, but you are not my father. You chose gambling over your own family and look were it got you."

"Son," hi father had pleading eyes.

"I hate you," Kendall said. Kendall then grabbed my hand and we left.

**I don't think this chapter was that well, but that's for you to decide. If you didn't know, the beginning is Alex dreaming and the man is Kendall's father, thus the blond hair and green eyes. I have some ideas for the next chapter but I don't know when I'll post it. I'm busy with school work and my art work right now so I'm sorry. I'll update this story whenever I get the chance. If you have any ideas for the story don't be afraid to share! ^-^**


	7. Chapter 7: Our Little Secret

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Seven: "This Is Our Little Secret"

Kendall didn't want to talk about what happened in the police station. He said he wanted to forget. Forget his father, forget that I had gotten shot. I told him I was fine, but he ignored me. He had seen the gun shot wound and he said it's "A scar that will never fade." I thought he meant that the mark from the shot wont go away. What he really meant was that it will serve as a memory of that day, a memory I wont ever be able to forget.

Life was getting out of control, not that I was ever in control of it. I wanted to be back in Minnesota, back where things were simple.

I stepped out of the shower and changed into clean clothes. I walked into my room while drying my hair with a towel and found Paige sitting on my bed.

"What's up?" I tossed the towel in the hamper.

"Let's go shopping," something about her tone was different.

"No thanks. Last time I went shopping with you, you threw everything I bought into a dumpster," I sat beside her.

"I promise I wont throw out good clothes then," she crossed her arms and smiled.

"So, you'll throw out everything I buy then. You hate the clothes I wear."

"Oh c'mon," she grabbed my arm and yanked me off the bed.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

As usual, Paige made me carry all the clothes she picked out while she was in the dressing room.

"You couldn't ask James to come so **he **could carry all this crap?"

"..uhh..umm, no that would be rude," her voice was different again.

"Paige, what's going on?" I asked.

A dress flew over her stall and landed on my head.

"Doesn't fit, pass me another," she said.

I threw a green dress over the stall, hoping it hit her face. "Did something happen between you and my brother?"

"No," she laughed, "everything is great, he's the guy of my dreams."

"Mmhmm.." something didn't feel right.

After Paige tried on everything and bought what she wanted we walked to the food court. Paige left me at a table surrounded by all her bags while she went to get the food. I laid my arm on the table and rested my cheek against it. My other hand traveled to the wound on my stomach. Sometimes it felt like it was happening all over again. Sometimes I felt my body tremble. And yet, the pain from that bullet piercing my skin was nothing compared to Carlos breaking my heart. It felt like my chest was hallow, like my heart was no longer there pumping blood to all my veins. He had come and gone, taking my heart with him. Now I sound like a depressed cheerleader.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and shake me out of my thoughts. I looked up at Paige who now sat down.

"Did I scare you?"

"No you just made me happy," I gave her a fake smile.

"Alex."

"Yes?"

"Carlos is here."

I looked at the line and saw him standing there with a girl. "And?"

"Don't you want to talk to him?" Paige raised her eyebrows.

"Why? He looks like he's on a date," I laughed.

"Alex, don't you recognize that girl?"

I looked again. "Is that really.."

"Maya Sanders," Paige finished for me. Before I could say anything else, Paige got up and walked over to Carlos and Maya. I put my head back down on my arm in embarrassment when I saw Carlos look over at me.

"So..yeah, they're on a date," I heard Paige's voice.

"What did you do?" my voice was angry.

"Maya is here for the summer."

"And?" knowing Paige, there had to be more.

She looked back then looked at me again, "I invited them to sit with us so don't be angry and act normal!" she said it fast.

"Paige!" Just as I yelled out her name, Carlos and Maya arrived. He pushed out a chair for her and she sat down.

"I hate you," I mouthed to Paige.

"Love you too," she mouthed back.

"Paige, can we go buy that shirt we saw…**please**," I smiled and widened my eyes as I said 'please'.

"Why? Paige will probably throw it out anyway," Carlos laughed. I wanted to smack the smile off his face.

I stood up, "I'm leaving."

"Why? We're all catching up," Maya said. I always hated her. She was the happy, happy, joy, joy cheerleader who always called me names. She once called me a lesbian just because I wear ripped jeans and large T-shirts. I had called her a whore. Why? Well, because she is. She's a beautiful girl, but she uses it to her advantage to get every guy she wants. I know her hatred for me grew that night at Homecoming when I interrupted her dance with Carlos.

"Sorry, I don't talk to whores," I smiled and grabbed Paige's arm and a handful of her bags.

"Doesn't matter, you're a lesbian anyway!"

I dropped all the bags I had, released Paige from my grasp, and ran after that bitch and punched her in the face. She fell to the floor in the most dramatic way I had ever seen. I felt Carlos' hands pull me off of Maya. That didn't stop me from kicking her.

"Alex! Alex!" Carlos said my name. I stopped and turned to face him. I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, the eyes I love. I still had the urge to smack him, so I did. After that I stared at him. He had his face to the side and his hand touching the cheek I had smacked. Paige grabbed her things, then she pulled me away.

"Alex?" Paige looked down at my fist after we were outside the mall.

"What?" I raised my hand so I could see. Blood was on the back of my hand. "Did I break her nose?"

"I guess," Paige shrugged, then offered to give me a high-5. I walked away.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Back at the hotel I laid on my bed after a nice long shower. I got up after a few minutes and ran my fingers through my hair. I opened the doors to the balcony and stared down at the people in the pool. I saw Carlos and James there with a dramatic Maya. She had a bag of ice on her nose and she kept pretending to faint. I even saw Katie shake her head and walk away. I walked back inside and laid on my bed. I buried my face in my pillow. It felt good to let out my anger, but I knew James was going to yell at me for this.

"Whatever, she had it coming," I said as I sat up. Soon I heard a knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I yelled as I walked to the door. No response, just another knock. I looked through the peep hole and saw Carlos standing there. Guess he knew that if he said his name I wouldn't open the door.

"What do you want Carlos?"

"Lexie, let me in," he said.

"No, I think I'm doing pretty fine in here on my own." I don't need him trying to scold me for punching Maya and smacking him.

"Please Lexie," he begged. I sighed and unlocked the door but left it closed. I knew he wasn't going to leave unless he got his say. I walked to couch and laid down while Carlos opened the door and walked inside. He lifted my feet and sat down then placed my feet on his lap. I quickly sat up right and moved to the other side of the couch.

"What do you want?" I asked. I didn't even look at him.

"Why'd you attack Maya?" he asked.

"You know why I punched her," I closed my eyes. Looking at him made my stomach hurl.

"You didn't have to hurt her for name calling," he sat on the arm rest of the couch.

James walked inside with his lucky comb running through his hair, "Oh here you are Carlos. Gustavo wants to see you about that song you gave him."

Carlos took once last look at me, sighed, and walked out.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

"Well it's pretty obvious that you're not going to prom with Carlos, so who are you going with?" Paige asked after she tried on a fifth dress.

"I'm not going to prom. You got me to go to Homecoming so leave me alone about this." I passed her a hanger after I saw the look she gave herself in the mirror.

"You HAVE to go, it wont be the same without you." She walked back into the stall with the hanger. Soon after Paige came back out wearing a strapless blue dress. "I like this one."

"It looks good," I said, accepting the change in subject.

Paige walked back into the stall and came back out holding a black and purple dress on a hanger. "This is so you." I should've known she wouldn't drop the conversation that easily.

After giving into Paige so she'd leave me alone, we made our way to the cashier to find Maya and her broken nose talking on line with two of her friends.

"I think I'm finally going to kiss Carlos tomorrow night!" Maya squealed to her girlfriends.

After Maya was done at the cashier she spotted me on line and made her way to me. She bumped me with her shoulder and swung her bag to my stomach where my gunshot wound is and said "Whoops, didn't notice you there Alexandria," after she clearly looked at me.

"Did that bitch just-"

Paige grabbed my shoulder, "Let it go, she isn't worth it a second time."

"He's going with Maya.."

"Y-yeah," Paige hesitated.

"You knew didn't you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you Alex."

"…Whatever. I don't care," Paige paid for our dresses and we made our way back to the hotel.

I woke up the next day feeling a bit refreshed. I raised my arms in the air and stretched until it hurt. I turned to look at the clock and realized I had overslept….A LOT.

"6:57 PM? How tired was I?" I hopped off the bed and ran into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took a hot shower. I walked out in my purple robe. I hurried into the kitchen to find some food before Paige would come banging on the door to get me ready for prom. I toasted a bagel and put some strawberry cream cheese on it and began walking back to my room as I took a bite. I then heard hushed voices coming from the guest room.

"Shh…someone will hear you…""I don't care…."

"What about my boyfriend?"

"What about him? This is our little secret."

Soon I recognized the voices. I slammed the door open to find Paige and Victor hugged tightly together with their lips parted slightly, almost touching the others. When they saw me they jumped apart. With all the noise I made I'm surprised they didn't decide to 'cuddle' somewhere else.

All I felt was pain for my brother. He loves Paige with every once of his heart and here she is cheating on him with our cousin.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked, keeping my voice strong.

Paige spoke first, "Alex-"

"You call me 'Alexandria', only my friends and family call me 'Alex'."

Paige's face looked as if I slapped her across the face.

Now Victor tried, "Alex-"

"The same goes for you too! You may be my blood but you are no family of mine to hurt James like this!" I yelled with all my might. Every pint of stress I held within me was release with those words. Somehow, I still felt more. My stress was building up more and more right after I had yelled. They say you feel a sharp pain in your heart when a loved one dies or when a loved one is hurt. It felt like a venomous snake had bitten my heart and no one was there to suck the poison out. My brother is not only my brother, he's my best friend. When he feels pain it usually doubles for me and vice versa. This pain in my heart was there because James was there in the doorway when I turned around.

"What's going on?" he asked. He could feel the tension in the air.

Paige looked at me with pleading eyes, as if she wanted me to cover for her. If she really loved my brother she wouldn't have hurt him this way.

"Not a chance in hell," I mouthed to her.

"Alex?" James looked at me.

I looked at Victor and Paige, then I looked at my twin once again. I looked at his concerned face and sighed. "Paige-"

"Cant wait to go to prom with you tonight," Victor said.

"I cant wait to go with her either," James walked over to her and kissed her passionately. I felt my stomach tie into knots.

"Alex what's wrong with you? You look sick sis," James put his hand on my forehead.

"She's cheating on you!" I blurted out.

**Sorry for the extremely long wait on this chapter. I think I could've done a lot better though. PLEASE leave some ideas for the next chapter. I really need some new ideas for this story. **


	8. Chapter 8: A Bad Feeling

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show. **

Chapter Eight: A Bad Feeling

I didn't want to just blurt it out to my brother like that. I knew he would be hurt but I also couldn't depend on Victor and Paige to tell him. According to what I over heard, Victor hadn't planned to tell James at all. James just remained still with a look of horror as he stared at me. I nodded my head as if to say "It's true."

"Don't lie to me Alex.." he whispered.

"I'm not lying James! I saw them with my own two eyes! Heard them with my own two ears," my voice began to trail off, "I would never lie to you James."

"Alexandria.." He only called me by my full name when he was being serious.

"James -" I started to talk but Victor had cut me off.

"James, are you really going to believe this? You know Paige loves you too much, and I'm your cousin! I could never do that to you!" Victor smiled and attempted to walk out the room. James put his hand on Victor's chest and pushed him back into the room. James' hair covered his face as he looked down, his hand still on Victor's chest. He finally lifted his head, and he stared at Paige.

She stared back, eyes full of regret. Maybe she only regretted what she had done with Victor because James was here now. She knows how much my brother loves her and she cheated, with our cousin.

James turned his head and looked at Victor. His other hand lay at his side, balled into a fist.

"You really believe this James?" Victor asked.

"How's this for an answer?" James then punched him square in the face. Victor layed on the floor, covering his bloody nose. James then turned and looked at Paige once more.

"James I wanted to tell you b-" James put up his hand and she immediately stopped talking. "You two can have each other now," he walked out and slammed the door.

"Why?" Paige asked as she stared at me.

"Why?…Why?" I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a small chuckle. "He's my brother! You really expected me to keep this a secret? You did this to yourself! Never did I expect you to betray my brother, I thought he was in good hands. Who would've known that the first girl he fell in love with would hurt him in one of the worst ways imaginable."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

I had to leave the apartment. If I had stayed I probably would have punched Paige so hard she would have ended up faking the pain a few days later for James' attention just like Maya did when I punched her at the mall.

I walked to the pool with my bikini on and my towel over my arm. I jumped into the pool and dove under. When I couldn't stay under any longer I came up for some air. I pushed my hair out of my face and when I opened my eyes I saw a familiar face I didn't want to see.

Carlos gave me a wide smile. "Hey Lexie."

"Carlos, I'm not in the mood. A lot has been going on lately and I cant take it anymore," I fought back tears. I got shot, kidnapped, lost my boyfriend a.k.a the guy who I think is my soul mate, found out the guy who shot me is Kendall's dad, heard that Carlos is going to prom tomorrow with Maya, my nemesis, then I caught my best friend and my cousin cheating on my brother. I couldn't take anymore stress.

Carlos wrapped his arms around me and unconsciously leaned closer to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he looked down at me. I blurted out everything like word vomit…except the part about him being my soul mate.

"Going to prom with Maya? Where did you here that?" he asked.

"Paige told me, I guess she overheard Maya talking to her friends."

"I've been looking for you so I could ask you to go to prom with me tomorrow," Carlos smiled and moved some hair out of my face.

I turned my head to the side. "Why so you can just dump me again?" I snapped.

"Lexie, I know I made a mistake. I want to fix everything," he whispered.

"Carlos.." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to be with him again but something didn't feel right. Maybe it's all the stress I'm under.

"I'm not asking you to be with me again..Just go to prom with me tomorrow. Lets take it slow, start off new with tomorrow," he put his hand on my cheek.

I took in a deep breath and nodded. "Alright, starting off new sounds good."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

I finally returned home at 11:07 PM. My parents were going crazy, they thought something had happened to me again. After they checked me for any cuts and bruises they interrogated me.

"Where were you young lady?" my mother asked.

"I went for a walk, I'm sorry I came back late. I should've called."

"It was that boy again wasn't it? I thought I told you to stay away from him!" my dad waged his finger at me. Ohh, I'm scared. Psh, as if. I haven't been afraid of the wagging finger since I was four.

"News flash dad, your wish came true, he broke up with me a few weeks ago," I walked into the kitchen and poured some juice into a glass.

"Aw, but I like that boy," my mom sat next to me.

"Brooke," my father began, but he was quickly cut off by my mother.

"Well I do like Carlos! He treated Alexandria very well. He is a complete gentleman with her. It wasn't his fault Alexandria got into that accident," my mother's face was furious. I'm glad she's on my side. Every argument my parents had, my mother came out the winner.

"Well mom, thank you," I kissed her cheek, "because tomorrow night Carlos is taking me to the prom."

"Is Paige helping you get ready?" my mother asked. She was obviously excited I was going to a dance without being forced to.

"I don't want her going, at least not with that boy. It's his fault you know," my father was fighting a war he was going to lose. My mother gave him a look and he raised his arms in defeat and walked away. They were obviously going to have a fight later.

"No," I finally answered my mother's question.

"Why is that honey?" she asked. I couldn't tell her. If I told her what Paige and Victor did behind Victor's back my mom would turn into a dragon lady. It should be James' decision whether he wants my parents involved in this or not. If my mom sees me attack Victor or Paige then she'll find out earlier. For now, it's up to James.

"U-umm," I hesitated, "because I'm going to try to get myself ready on my own for once." I then left my glass there with my mother and headed to bed.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

The next morning I awoke with pains in my stomach, where my bullet wound is. Whenever I feel pain at my wound something bad usually happens. You know, how some people taste blood, others get shivers when something bad is going to happen. Well, I get imaginary bullet pains, as if my life is in rewind for only that moment.

I held one hand to my stomach as I slowly got off the bed. I walked to my bureau and looked into the mirror. I picked up the brush and brushed my long straight hair. I then showered and then walked into the kitchen and saw my brother. He sat there eating a piece of toast as he stared into space. His eyes seemed lifeless, as if he hadn't gotten any sleep.

"Hey, it's 6 AM what're you doing up?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just woke up and you know once I wake up I cant go back to sleep," I gave him a smile and a soft giggle but he took another bite of his toast. "Have you told mom and dad about…them?"

Now he looked up at me. "No."

"How come?"

"They'll kick him out."

"You still care for him after what he did to you?"

"Why not? He's family.." his voice trailed off. Something in his voice was different when he said this. Something else was holding him back and I know it wasn't because my parents would throw out Victor. My parents wont kick him out. Ok, maybe they'll send him back to his parents in Minnesota but that's not kicking him out, right?

"It doesn't matter, if she wants him that badly she can have him. I just don't want to see her face," he took another bite of toast.

As much as I hate to admit this, I had to say it, "You don't mean that James. You were so full of life with her. She was like your energy source."

"Yeah, until she and Victor pulled the plug."

I didn't know what to do. I ran into my room and pulled out my handheld mirror, then I ran back to James and held it up in front of him. It was my lame attempt at cheering up my twin brother.

"That's not going to work Alex," he grabbed the mirror and placed it on the counter. I had to find a way to help him even if I didn't like it..

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

I decided I needed some cheering up as well. My day was alright so far. Ha! Take that bad feelings! This time my day will be fine. I'm tired of all these things happening to me. I'll make sure today is good. A few hours after breakfast I put my headphones on and plugged them into my iPod and blasted some BTR. I began singing along to it as I entered the lobby when I bumped into Kendall.

"Sorry Kenny," I laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed he had heard me singing.

"It's alright Alex," he laughed as well, "if we ever need a fifth member, you got the job!"

"But then you wont be a boy band anymore!" We both laughed.

"So what're you to?" he asked.

"Just trying to relax, jamming to some BTR," I gestured to the iPod.

He smiled, "How about we relax together? I could use some relaxing too."

We went to apartment 2J and Kendall grabbed his guitar case. "To the park?" he suggested. I nodded.

When we got there we sat by the fountain.

"Why'd you bring the guitar?" I asked.

"It's been awhile since I played. Been busy with BTR so I hadn't had the time until now."

"I see," I said as I got closer to the fountain. I could feel some water hitting my body, "The water feels refreshing." Soon I heard the slight strumming of Kendall's guitar.

"A new song Gustavo wants us to learn," he gestured to papers inside the guitar case, "Do you want to hear it?"

"Sure, I'm sure I'm going to love it. I love all your songs," I smiled.

He began to play the guitar and he sang.

"Oooh. a you tell me anything, how was your day?

'Cause I been missing you by my side. Yeah

It ain't easy to keep on moving city to city

Just get up and go

The show must go on

So I need you to be strong

I I I I never never never as far away as it may seem (no never)

Soon we'll be together

We'll pick up right where we left off

Hey this love, it don't kill

It's just one thing that I gotta do

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Hello, tuck you in every night

And I can hardly take another goodbye

Baby won't be long

You're the one that I'm waiting on

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Whoaaa whoaa Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide (worldwide)

Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide

Girl I'll be thinking about you

Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls that know my nameBut don't you worry, no

'Cause you have my heart

I I I I never never never as far away as it may seem (no never)

Soon we'll be togetherWe'll pick up right where we left off

Hey this love, it don't kill

It's just one thing that I gotta do

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Hello, tuck you in every night

And I can hardly take another goodbye

Baby won't be longYou're the one that I'm waiting on

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Whoaaa whoaa Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide (worldwide)

Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwideGirl I'll be thinking about you

Whoaa. Wherever the wind blows meYou're still the one and only girl on my mind

Hey this love, it don't kill

It's just one thing that I gotta doH

ello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Hello, tuck you in every night

And I can hardly take another goodbye

Baby won't be longYou're the one that I'm waiting on

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Whoaaa whoaa Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide (worldwide

)Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide

Girl I'll be thinking about you

Yes I may meet a million pretty girls that know my name

But don't you worry 'cause you have my heart.."

Kendall continued to stare at me after he sang the last word. He stared at me during the entire song. He began to lean closer to me, slowly.

"Kendall.." I began, but he hushed me with a kiss. One of my best friend's was kissing me. I think he only kissed me because he felt guilty about what his dad did to me. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back gently, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. His face was puzzled.

"I cant do this Kendall. My heart is with Carlos. What about Jo?" He remained quiet. I looked at the music sheets in his guitar case, to avoid his gaze. I examined the papers carefully and recognized the handwriting. I stood up and pulled out my new phone out my pocket.

"7:26? I'm supposed to be ready to leave for prom right now!" I went into my phone's phonebook and called Carlos.

"Carlos! Phew! I'm glad you answered… I'm sorry but can you pick me up? …At the park with Kendall, lost track of time… Okay then," I hung up.

I sat down next to Kendall and looked at him. We remained in silence for a long time. I looked at the time on my phone again. 7:59, Carlos should be here soon.

"Alex, don't think I did that because of everything that's happened. I couldn't get you out of my head for awhile but I didn't do anything because I knew Carlos had feelings for you," he put his hand to my cheek and pulled me closer to him with his other hand and he kissed me once again. This time I pushed him back harder.

"That doesn't mean you can take advantage now! You should have said something _before_ not _now," _as I turned around to see if Carlos was here yet and to forget this ever occurred, I saw Carlos standing there with his intense eyes locked on Kendall. So much for ignoring that bad feeling today.

**So was this chapter good or bad? Sorry for my long break, I was waiting for my laptop to be fixed and now it is. I hope my long break didn't cause this story to go downhill for you guys. So what do you think will happen to James and Paige? What will happen between Kendall and Carlos? What is Alex's plan to help her brother? Where is Logan? (Just thought I put that Logan funny in there since he isn't in this story very much) Please leave me some ideas for my writers block. Every idea is very much appreciated. ^-^**


	9. Chapter 9: Who Am I?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show.**

Chapter Nine: Who Am I?

Carlos walked over to Kendall and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. His chocolate brown eyes looked at Kendall with hatred.

"I cant help how I feel Carlos," Kendall said, returning the look of hatred.

"You have Jo, why do you have to go after Alex? You weren't interested in her before."

"I don't know, the feelings for her just came on its own," he pushed Carlos off of him.

"Well those feelings have to take a hike. Alex and I are starting over," Carlos began walking to me.

"Staring over, huh? You're only starting over because you nearly got her killed!" Kendall yelled.

"Yeah, because of _**your**_ father!" Carlos yelled back. Kendall remained quiet now.

"Guys, stop it! It was no ones fault! No one is to blame for what happened to me!" I looked at them both. Carlos placed his hand on my back, "You're right, lets get going. You have to get ready anyway." We began walking to the car.

"We cant just leave him here Carlos," I looked up at him.

"He'll be fine, just let him clear his head."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Carlos drove me back to the hotel and I walked into my apartment. I took another shower and walked into my room with my robe on. I looked into closet for a dress to wear. I hadn't decided on what to wear at all. I pulled out the black and purple dress Paige had picked out for me a few weeks ago. Paige.. Ugh, whatever forget her and forget Victor too! I put the dress in the back of my closet. I pulled out a black and red dress and layed it on my bed. The dress had medium sized spaghetti straps and it stops a little past my knees. I took off my robe and changed my clothes then I sat in front of my bureau. I took the hair clip out of my hair and let my straight hair fall down to my shoulders. I brushed it neatly and then grabbed my compact mirror which also had my blush in it. I applied a little just as my mom had taught me so many times before. I grabbed my strawberry lip gloss and applied it to my lips. I then pressed my lips together to smooth it. Then I reached into my closet and grabbed my small black heels. When I say small, I mean small. I cant walk on huge heals.

I walked out of my room and into the living room where my mom gave me "oohs" and "ahhs" My father heard the door so he got up from his usual recliner to answer it while my mom hurried to her room to grab something.

"Alex honey, you have to wear this!" my mother said, "Hold up your hair." She put a beautiful silver necklace around my neck. At the end there was a heart, shaped by diamonds and the middle was hallow.

I touched it with my hand, "Mom its beautiful."

"It was my mothers. Take good care of it honey, its yours now." She kissed my cheek. "Let me just put some eyeliner on you."

"Mom! You know I hate that stuff!" I waved my hand at her.

"Wow, Lexie you look amazing. Absolutely beautiful." I turned around to see Carlos standing there, his whole face was red. "Well you always look beautiful to me, no matter what you're wearing." Carlos was wearing a white button down shirt with black pressed pants and black shoes. He had his jacket over his arm. "Here," he opened a plastic case he was holding and pulled out a corsage. "Roses, your favorite." I smiled as he placed the case on the counter and put the corsage on my wrist.

"I told you he's a sweet boy!" my mom said as hit my dad on the arm and grabbed her camera. "Pose for the camera kids!"

Carlos put his arms around my waist and I put one arm on his shoulder and the other on his chest. We smiled into the camera as my mom took the picture. This time we looked at one another as the camera flashed.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey?"

"Where's James?" I asked.

"He went to pick up his date, he left in a hurry." A date? Who was James going with on short notice?

"C'mon Lexie, we're already late," Carlos said.

"We'll be back at 12," I kissed my mom on the cheek, then my dad, "See you later."

"We wont be here when you get back," my mother said.

"Why is that?"

"Your father and I want some alone time so we're staying somewhere else tonight, I trust you'll be back on time."

I shuddered. Gross. "Yeah I'll be on time, mom. I'll call you."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Carlos and I entered holding hands. I saw Maya glare at me. I also saw Paige alone in the corner. I followed her stare to my brother who was dancing with Stephanie King. His face looked happy but I know my brother, that was pretend happy face. I looked up at Carlos.

"Give me a second?" I asked.

"Sure, I'll get us some drinks," he kissed my cheek and walked away.

I sighed and pulled in all my pride. Then I made my way to Paige. When I stopped in front of her, her face became even more sad.

"You look great Alex," she whispered.

"I'm surprised you showed up. So where's your boyfriend?" I asked, ignoring the compliment.

"Victor isn't my boyfriend, I told him it could never work. I love James. I'm sorry for what I did Alex."

"I'm sorry too," I sighed once last time. "I didn't mean to come over here and argue Paige."

"Then what did you come over here for?" she asked.

"You know my brother well enough to know he's not happy," I turned and stood beside her, watching my brother.

Paige laughed a bit, "Why would he be after what I did to him?"

"He loves you too Paige. Go over there and make things right," I looked at her and smiled. "Of course you needed the permission of James' sister first … and you're best friend." She turned to me and hugged me.

"It's been hell without you Barbie!" she said.

"I thought you promised to never call me that!" We both laughed. "Now go!" I gave her a slight nudge.

"Thank you Alex." As she made her way to James and Stephanie, I saw Victor walk in. I walked over to him and looked up at my cousin.

"What're you doing here Victor?" I asked while shaking my head.

"I'm looking for Paige, you seen her?"

"Nope, not here," I lied.

He moved me to the side with his arm and began walking to her.

"Victor! Leave her alone! She doesn't love you!" I called after him.

"Stay out of this Alex," he said while still walking. Victor grabbed James shoulder and turned him around. Victor then punched James in the face.

"The only reason I didn't hit you back before is because you're my cousin. If that didn't stop you then it shouldn't stop me."

Soon they were throwing punches at each other and as soon as it started it stopped. They both took in some air and stared at each other. Then they laughed at the same time. Everyone stared at them as if they were psycho, including me.

"I'm such an ass," Victor said, "I'm sorry man. I just thought … I don't know what I thought."

James grabbed Victor's neck and pulled him into a hug. When they released they laughed some more. Now James was no longer pretending. "It's alright man!"

If it were this easy I would have said 'Go ahead, knock each other out!' Soon everything was back to normal at prom. Carlos found his way to me through the crowd.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"Boys just being boys I guess." We began dancing happily until a slow song came on. I put my arms around his neck and Carlos wrapped his arms around my waist. The lights when off and all we saw were colored lights moving slowly. Red, blue, green, yellow, purple. After a while the music was upbeat once again.

Before we knew it, it was midnight. I told James my parents plans and he deiced to stay out with Paige and Victor to talk things over and hang out. I told him I was heading home.

"Don't do anything stupid you three!" I called out to them.

"No promises!" James said while Paige and Victor laughed.

Carlos drove me back to the hotel and we got off on my floor. When we got to my door I put my arms around his neck and his arms wrapped around my waist. At first our foreheads were touching and then we stood there making out for what felt like hours. Soon it felt like heat was rising, and it felt like I couldn't control myself. As we kissed I opened the door and we walked in while continuing to kiss. We managed to lock the door and maneuver through the house. We made it to my room and closed the door.

"I love you," Carlos whispered between kisses. It was as if I felt his heart talking in those words. I know he didn't say it because of the heat of the moment.

"I love you too," I whispered back. We continued kissing and made it to my bed. We sat there kissing and I felt Carlos' hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder. He slid the strap of my dress off my shoulder and I began unbuttoning his shirt. Once I got the last button off he took his arms out the sleeves and threw it onto the floor. We stopped kissing long enough for me to admire his body. I placed my hand on his chest feeling his tan muscles. Then we were kissing again. Nice, slow, patient kisses. Not those hungry, barbaric ones you see on T.V. Soon the top of my dress was at my waist and my bra was exposed. In the blink of an eye Carlos was on top of me while we were kissing. He moved his lips down to my chin then to my neck. Then I realized what was going on. Who am I? Alex? No. This person is _Alexandria._ Maybe Alex is still in Minnesota. No, I lost her when Paige transformed me.

"Carlos," I whispered. He continued to kiss my neck. "Carlos."

He stopped and looked at me. "We.. I cant do this. Don't be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?" he moved to sit next to me as I sat up.

"I just don't feel like my self.. Who am I?"

"You're my Lexie," he placed his index finger and thumb on my chin as he kissed me.

"That's the thing. I don't feel like I'm Alex anymore… or in your case 'Lexie'" I pulled up my dress.

"What's on your mind?" he asked as he picked up his shirt. What's on my mind is that I _really _don't want you to put that shirt back on.

"Look at me Carlos, remember me back in Minnesota? This wasn't me," I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Alex," he was being serious, "you can wear whatever you want to wear. You're still beautiful to me," he began putting his shirt back on. No! Okay, we'll my mind is in the gutter.

"So you're not mad that I stopped us?" I asked.

"Hey this love, it don't kill

It's just one thing that I gotta do

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Hello, tuck you in every night

And I can hardly take another goodbye

Baby won't be long

You're the one that I'm waiting on

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Whoaaa whoaa Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide (worldwide)Girl I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide

Girl I'll be thinking about you" he sang to me.

"I knew it was you," I smiled, "Kendall sang that to me before you showed up. I recognized your handwriting."

"I wrote that song for you when I first got to L.A and you were still in Minnesota," he touched my cheek, "I'll always wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

I opened my bureau and pulled out some clothes. I walked out the room and into the bathroom. I grabbed a cloth and wet it and whipped the make-up off my face. I took off the dress and kicked off the heels. Then I put on my T-shirt and my favorite pair of ripped jeans I had been neglecting. The only thing I kept on was my grandmother's necklace. I walked back into my room and placed the necklace in my jewelry box. I turned and looked at Carlos as I put my hair in a ponytail, only leaving my bangs out.

"There she is," Carlos stood up and grabbed my hand. He pulled me over to the mirror and had me look at myself. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind as we looked into the mirror.

Carlos kissed my cheek, "That's Lexie. That is the real Alexandria Marie Diamond. I'm sorry we all changed you. I didn't mean for you to lose sight of yourself. I love you for who you are. You don't have to wear a dress to get my attention. Just by walking in a room you have my attention."

I smiled. "I love you Alex Marie Diamond."

"And I love you, Carlos Garcia."

**So how'd you like it? Sorry for this short chapter. There will be more chapters to come. I don't intend to end the story just yet. I have a few ideas but I want some more so the next chapter wont be short. Also, I intend to write a new story. A Fantasy story. If you're interested in reading it when it is completed inbox me. (Fan-Fiction isn't for your own stories so inbox if you're interesting in reading it when it's complete.)**


	10. Chapter 10: Betrayal

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show.  
AN: It's been so long! I'm so sorry I haven't updated this story for about two years. I hope you all haven't lost interest. I've just been really busy preparing for college and my mom just recovered from cancer. I deeply apologize for neglecting this story for so long but now that's over! I also noticed a lot of typos in previous chapters and I'm sorry for not double checking those before I posted them. :(  
I hope you all enjoy this new chapter!**

Chapter Ten: Betrayal

"Alex!" Paige had her hands on her hips and her face was dissappointed.  
"What?" I looked up with a cracker sticking out of my mouth. I missed being one of the guys. It oddly enough felt good to act like a slob again. I didn't have to be all prim and proper anymore, or wear frilly little dresses.  
"What do you mean 'what?' What happened to you?" she yelled.  
"I woke up...and I got dressed...now I'm eating," I said it like it was more clear than day. Lately I've been having more of an attitude with her. I still didn't forgive her for cheating on my brother. I just tolerated her now. It felt good to have my best friend back, but I still wanted to keep my guard up.  
"You totally ruined your makeover!" she pouted like a child.  
"Um, yeah that's the point," I finished eating the cracker.  
"And what did Carlos say?" her tone of voice remined me of Maya. She **had **been hanging out with her when we weren't talking after all. Sometimes she still did. I hated it because I knew Maya only hung out with her to get information on my relationship with Carlos.  
"Actually he was fine with it," I raised my eyebrows and smiled, ready to accept my victory.  
"Whatever then, if you want to be a boy then fine. Hope you two have fun looking like a gay couple."  
"Careful, you might end up with a broken nose just like your 'bestie'," I think I sounded a little too happy as I remembered making blood gush out of Maya's nose at the mall. I didn't like her tone of voice either.  
Paige got up and crossed her arms, "Are you threatening me?"  
I let out a small sigh and spoke as if she should have expected my sarcastic comments, "You see, that usually happens after you insult someone Paige."  
"You're so vulgar Alex. Last time I checked, James had a twin **sister**, not a twin brother," she rolled her eyes.  
My blood was boiling. I wanted to knock the teeth out of her mouth.  
"What the hell is wrong with you Paige? Ever since you started hanging out with Maya you've been completely different!" I wanted to say a lot more but I decided to hold back. I didn't want to say something I couldn't take back. No word vomit today.  
She laughed to herself, "Whatever Alex. I'm the same person. Don't get mad 'cause I'm friends with someone you don't like."  
I closed my eyes and all I could see was me pulling the hair out of Paige's scalp. How nice. I decided to let my anger go away. This was Paige, we grew up together. A small fight was nothing. Even if I wanted to punch her right now. Damn, I really am a bit vulgar.  
"That's not why I'm mad Paige. I don't care about that. I just can't stand how you've been acting lately. I'll admit I've been bitchy too because of what happened and-"  
"So you can't stand me **and** I'm bitchy?" This is the reason why I hate hanging out with females. So much drama.  
"That's not what I-"  
"Whatever, I'm out of here."

I explained the fight to Carlos and sighed gently. "I think she'll be talking to me again in a few days. She probably just needs some time to cool off."  
"You're taking it pretty well," his mouth curved into a small smile.  
"It's not the first time something like this happened. I'll admit this has got to be our biggest fight though."  
"And here I thought I'd have a beautiful girl crying in my arms," he joked. I laughed and pushed him in the pool. I crouched down and hugged my legs to my chest as he surfaced. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me in with him. We laughed as we surfaced together until we heard my brother calling my name. Soon our laughs were silenced as we watched James stand at the edge of the pool with angry eyes.  
His hair was now cut short, leaving his hair thick on top and cut thin on the sides. His eyes seemed to have gotten darker with his obvious anger.  
"What's up?" I asked innocently.  
"What happened with Paige?"  
"What do you care? It was between me and her."  
"Because we're trying to work everything out," he said it as if it were obvious.  
We were squabbling like normal siblings. Carlos kept looking from me to him as we continued to argue.  
"Cut it out," he said as he climbed out the pool, "Give them time James, and you,  
he now pointed a finger at me, "try to relax with your smart comments okay?"  
I felt like he was my father giving me the oh-so-frightening wagging finger. Psh!  
"Whatever," I dove under the water after hearing Carlos scold me for that latest comment.

I walked into the lobby of the hotel with a towel wrapped around me tightly. Carlos was beside me with his hand at the small of my back. We walked over to the vending machine to pick out some snacks. I pointed like a child to everything I wanted. He just giggled and kissed my cheek before stuffing bills into the machine. I looked to the side to see Paige and Maya staring back at me. What the hell were they looking at? I wanted to flip the bird at Maya or give her another punch, but I knew it wasn't worth it. Paige smirked as she looked at me and leaned twoards Maya and whispered something in her ear.  
"That gives me a good idea.." I heard Maya say a little too happily. What the heck was going on?  
"Let's go," Carlos noticed they were obviously talking about me. He led me back to my apartment.

"That's so childish!" I yelled as I paced back and forth in front of my bed.  
"Yeah."  
"Why talk about me? I'm her so-called best friend!"  
"I know."  
"That's just a pathetic way to get back at me for nothing!"  
"It sure is."  
"You're just agreeing with whatever I'm saying!" I stopped pacing and stood in front of him as he sat on the bed."  
He placed his hands on my hips as he laughed, "That's what I'm supposed to do." I chuckled. He was the only person I could rant to without getting critisicom, or being told I'm acting like a baby.  
I kissed him gently, "I love you."  
"I love you too Lexie," he smiled and kissed me again.

We made our way back to the pool after I finished my ranting. We laughed and splashed water at one another. I dove into the water, feelings all my troubles wash away. I wish it were that easy. When I surfaced at the edge of the pool I saw black heels in front of me. I looked up and Paige was smiling down at me.  
"Can I help you?" I asked polietly. I was ready for our fight to be over. She just continued to smile at me.  
"What's going on?" Carlos was now at my side, floating in the water.  
"Carlos! Just the person I was looking for!" Paige said happily. I looked extremely confused. What does she want with Carlos?  
Carlos began to climb out the pool but Paige shook her head, "Right there is just fine," she said softly. Paige then turned slightly, "Over here!" she called to someone. I guessed it would have been Maya, her new best friend. Boy, was I wrong. A girl just about my age walked out to the pool from the lobby. Her body was a hourglass shape and she walked like a model. I already hated her. Her long light brown hair stopped at the middle of her back and her dark green eyes looked a little too happy.  
"Carlos," she smiled at him. Carlos looked nervous as he took in a deep breath.  
"You remember Carmen Summers, right?" Paige had a devious smile.  
"Y-y-yeah," Carlos looked away. I looked dumbfounded. I had no idea as to what was going on. How did Carlos know this girl?  
"He has to remember me, we did date a few years ago," Carmen continued to smile at Carlos as she flipped her hair behind her back.  
"His ex?" I tried my best to sound normal. For once I had no sarcastic comment to get me out of this mess. I just wanted to grab Carlos and escape this awkward moment. But that's when it hit me.  
"You brought her here Paige?" I spoke softly, trying to hide the pain in my voice.  
"Of course! We got back in contact and she's been telling me how much she missed Carlos. I just had to tell her where he's staying so they could catch up!" She clapped her hands together happily.  
"Go to hell," I climbed out the pool and walked into the hotel. I turned, expecting to see Carlos beside me. Instead he was leaning at the edge of the pool where I left him with a smile plastered on his face. He and Carmen were talking happily. Paige walked by me and whispered, "Looks like you're in hell, not me."  
I wanted to punch her but I fought my anger. I just stood there, trying to swallow my rage.  
"Hey...Alex you okay?" I turned to my side to see Kendall watching me. I just pointed towards the pool and whispered, "Paige."  
"Enough said," Kendall then lead me towards the elevator, "First things first, let's get you into some dry clothes before you get sick."

"Maybe they're just good friends?" I was laying on my bed finally in warm clothing while Kendall sat by the window.  
"Could be," Kendall nodded. I touched my stomach as it growled. I got up and walked to the door.  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
"Vending machine. It's the best food for lazy people!" I joked.  
After getting a bunch of junkfood for me and Kendall I made my way to the elevator. The doors opened slowly and I dropped everything at the sight before me. Carmen had her arms around Carlos' neck with her lips on his and his hands were on her waist. They both turned to me once everything hit the floor.  
"Lexie.." I ran for the staircase. I felt like my heart fell to the ground and someone stomped on it. _  
I love you._  
Just a lie.  
_I don't want anyone else._  
Another lie.  
_You're perfect._  
He's full of crap.  
I tried to brush all the memories away as I dashed into my apartment. I locked the door and ran into my room.  
"Where are the.." Kendall rushed over to me once he saw my watery eyes and I buried my face in his shirt as I let the tears fall. I hated looking weak to others, but at this moment I didn't care. I wanted to be weak. Crying solves nothing, but I cried anyway.


	11. Chapter 11: Disaster

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show.  
**  
Chapter Eleven: Disaster

"You want to tell me what happened now?" Kendall murmured into my hair.  
I began to cry harder as I pictured the two of them in the elevator again. Tears continued to fall down and I didn't care. I just wanted to forget everything. I wished I could go back and convince myself I was better off in Minnesota...without Carlos.  
"He...h-he.." I tried to speak but the words just wouldn't form.  
"Shh," he cooed, "Tell me when you're ready." I nodded into his shirt as more tears raced down my face. I never thought Carlos would ever hurt me. I was so afraid of being hurt so I always acted like a guy. I didn't want to be laughed at, or being told that I'm weak. I hated being weak.  
I heard the front door to the apartment open and ignored it, assuming it was James coming to yell at me some more.  
"Lexie I-" I turned, still in Kendall's arms to see Carlos stop in his tracks. "What's going on here?" he finally asked.  
I sniffed as a few more tears fell. "Nothing compared to your elevator escapade with Carmen," I challenged.  
"Lexie that was-"  
"It was you two making out in the elevator, that's what it was."  
"Let me explain-"  
"Let me guess...'we got caught up in the moment and it just happened'..right?"  
"Yes, that's true but Lexie-"  
I put up my hand to stop him from talking. "I don't want to hear it."  
"Maybe I should go.." Kendall pointed to the door.  
"No. Stay." I felt back for keeping him here while we argued and I felt even worse for what I did afterwards. I turned to face Kendall and whipped the tears off my face and pushed some hair out of my face. I then looked back to Carlos again who looked dumbfounded. Brushing my hair away once more I put my hands to Kendall's face and pulled him in for a kiss. Kendall's green eyes widened in shock and I heard Carlos shout, "What the hell?!"  
I released Kendall from our kiss and turned back to Carlos and shurgged, "What can I say, I got caught up in the moment and it just happened." I felt like a bitch. However, bitch mode needed to be turned on to protect myself from more pain. Carlos glared at Kendall and was prepared to attack but I stood there between them. He looked from me to Kendall, who was now rubbing his head in confusion, to me again.  
I raised my eyebrows to silently challenge him while I placed my hands on my hips. I felt like the queen of bitches. If I didn't put this act on I would just be one of those girls crying and hitting him and saying things like 'how could you do this to me?'  
That's just not me, I prefer to feel like crap in private.  
Carlos simply sucked in a deep breath and walked out my room and out my apartment. I felt myself release air as if I were holding my breath the whole time Carlos was here.  
"What was all that about?" Kendall asked.  
"I'm sorry Kenny, I sort of just used you for my revenge. I'm sorry." _Now_ I felt like crap.  
"Just explain to me what happened, from the beginning," he raised his bushy eyebrows at me.

After explaining everything to Kendall I sighed. That was a lot to say at once. I buried my hands in my face as I let out another sigh.  
"So Paige did all of this out of some sick act of revenge?" he asked.  
"Pretty much," I nodded, "but that doesn't excuse what Carlos did. Not by a longshot.." I stood up and took in a deep breath. It's time to get out of this funk. I can't stay depressed forever, I can't be weak.

I got off the elevator on the second floor, making my way to apartment 2J. I prepared my best smile as Kendall unlocked the door.  
"Well look who's feeling better!" he smiled as he walked inside.  
"I sure am!" I had my best smile on. "Logan!" I called out in a sing-song voice. At the top of the yellow swirly slide was Logan smiling down at me.  
"What's up?" he asked, leaning over the banister.  
"Pool! Now! Please!" I used my puppy dog eyes as I clapped my hands together up at him. I needed some cheering up and right now, Logan was the best for the job. Kendall somehow made me want to cry more, James was mad at me, I was ignoring Victor, and Carlos was just an asshole who I'm mad at.  
"I kinda like the begging," he laughed.  
"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!" I joked, often guestering to up to him. Logan and I joked like this a lot back in Minnesota. He was the only one who got most of my jokes. Everyone used to look at me like I was crazy.  
He just continued to laugh. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down you hair?" I joked again, making it sound like a question as I played with my hair.  
"Okay, okay," Logan raised his hands in defeat. "I'll go get ready."  
"Meet me at my apartment!" I said as I dashed out of 2J.

I placed one of my brother's large T-shirts over my light blue bikini then slid into some denim shorts. I opened the door to the apartment after shouting to my family that I'd be at the pool.  
Logan was waiting for me at the elevator and smiled at me. He offered me his arm, "M'lady," he said in a funny accent. I linked my arm with his and we walked like that until we reached the pool. It reminded me of the day Carlos walked with me like this to the rink after school. I shook off the memory. No more thinking about useless memories.  
Carlos was there with Carmen and they were making out at the far end of the pool. Was this revenge for yesterday? Fine.  
"You want to go somewhere else?" Logan asked me slowly, obviously up to date on my current situation.  
"Nope, lets stay." I took my shorts off and pulled the T-shirt off. I saw Carlos look over at me and bitch mode turned back on. My fingers touched my scarred skin at my stomach and I saw him flinch a little. Carmen turned his head back in her direction and kissed him. Two can play at this game. I grabbed Logan's hand once he was left there standing in his swimming trunks.  
"Let's go!" I yelled happily as I dragged him to the pool and jumped in. When I surfaced Carlos was watching me once I surfaced. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me.  
I tossed my long wet hair behind my back and looked up at Logan. He looked down at me, half smiling, half confused.  
"Your eyes," he said slowly.  
"What about them?" I smiled as I spoke.  
"They usually look brown, but..they look hazel right now.."  
I looked back into his dark brown hues. They had small flecks of dark gold here and there, almost like a caramel color, and I smiled to myself at the thought. Before I could realize it, Logan was slowly leaning down towards me. Oddly enough I felt myself leaning towards him too. Logan is a great guy, but was this right? My mind flashed back to three years ago when I had a crush on Logan and Carlos both. Logan had noticed I was crushing on him. We do call him the brains for a reason after all. He kissed me back then and it was nice, but do I still like him? I felt my heart beat a little faster.  
Then I thought about Carlos.  
If he was over there kissing that bimbo then I could surely kiss Logan...right?  
"Hey guys what's going on?" I jumped back from Logan and fell back into the water. My heart was thumping. From fright, or because I almost kissed Logan? I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me to the surface. No.. I wanted to stay there a bit longer. At least until I sorted out my thoughts.

I looked up to see Kendall staring down at us from the edge of the pool. Jo was standing next to him smiling.  
"Heeeey Kendall, heeeey Jo," I smiled. Logan laughed nervously to himself.  
Kendall raised his eyebrows at us with a large smile on his face. When Logan turned to the side Jo moved her index finger from him to be and mouthed "Item?"  
I ran my fingers through my wet hair and shook my head. I turned around, ready to dive once again until I saw Carlos making his way towards us.  
"Can we leave Logie?" I said loud enough for Carlos to hear.  
"Okay," Logan nodded. He then got out the pool and offered me his hand. I took it and smiled as he helped me get out the pool.  
"And they say chilvalry is dead," I joked.  
He kissed my hand once I was out of the pool to continue the joke. "For m'lady," he said again in the funny accent he had used earlier.  
"What the hell!" I spun around to see Carlos with his hands on the top of his head.  
"I have nothing to say to you Carlos," I spat.  
"Lexie can we talk?" he asked.  
"It sure didn't seem like you wanted to talk when you were making out with your summer bimbo over there," I crossed my arms across my chest. Carlos hung his head low and sighed.  
"Can we leave?" I looked at Logan who nodded silently at me.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked once we were back in my apartment and dried off.  
"Can you help me with a song I'm writing?" I ignored his question. I asked Gustavo if I could write a song for BTR and another one of his employees and he said he'd consider it. I never got around to really finish it. All I had was a few lines.  
"Um, sure," Logan nodded and sat next to me on the couch with a guitar. He played a few samples for me until we agreed on one we both liked. Logan never looked away from my eyes while he played and I sang some lyrics we thought were good. Soon he began singing with me as well. Not long after he was leaning in slowly and I was too, as if it were a magnetic pull to him. Our lips touched a few seconds later and I felt his warm hand on my cheek. One of my hands leaned on the couch while the other was playing with the hair behind his ear. Soon it hit me. I was kissing Logan. I broke the kiss and took a deep breath.  
"I think it should be upbeat!" I said quickly, releasing the air I had just sucked in.  
"What?"  
"The song!"  
"Oh, right," he ran his hand through brown hair.

After a few hours we had written two songs. The BTR song was upbeat, the other was slow. Logan grabbed the second one, going over it once more.  
"If this is for him it's kind of-"  
"That was my inspiration. People write the best when they're inspired. I'm sure Gustavo will love it," I smiled as I took the paper from him. I dug in my pocket and took out my phone.  
"Gustavo? ... Yes, both are done! ... I'll bring the other one then," I said grabbing the song for his other employee at Rouque Records.

Half an hour later I was at Rouque Records with all four members of Big Time Rush. We recorded the melody and were getting ready to record the lyrics.  
Some how I ended up in the booth with a microphone hanging from the ceiling and a small podium in front of me with my song resting on it with headphones.  
"Remind me again why I'm in here," I said sarcastically.  
"Think of it as a 'thank you'," Kendall smirked.  
"For what?" I glared at him through the glass that seperated us.  
"Writing the song of course!"  
"SING!" Gustavo roared.  
I sighed as I did I was told. I placed the headphones on my ears and closed my eyes as the music started. I sighed once more and began to sang.

_"I'm trying not to pretend,  
It won't happen again and again like that.  
I never thought it would end,  
'cause you got up in my head, in my head like that.  
And made me happy, baby, love is crazy,  
So amazing, but it's changing, re-arranging,  
I don't think I can take anymore"_

"That's my sister!" James fist pumped in the air. I locked eyes with Carlos for the remainder of the song.

_"'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down,  
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.  
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,  
And it's burning for forever and always.  
You gotta let it go and be on our way  
And live for another day,  
'cause it ain't the same, my baby.  
Watch it all fall into the ground  
No happy ever after, just disaster. _

_I didn't want it this way,  
I only wanted to say I loved you right.  
But now you're walking away,  
And leaving me here to stay,  
So foolish of me to wait for you to realize  
All the things I gave you, made you,  
Changed you, your dreams came true  
When I met you, now forget you,  
Don't want anymore _

_'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down  
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.  
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,  
And it's burning for forever and always.  
You gotta let it go and be on our way  
And live for another day,  
Cause it ain't the same, my baby.  
Watch it all fall into the ground  
No happy ever after ‒ just disaster. _

_You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me,  
Not feeling my heart beat, and now I was dying.  
I am through it, I-I am through all the agony,  
And now my eyes are drying, trying,  
No more crying,  
Lying's just a game.  
So disaster strikes,  
And I'm alright  
'cause my love's on his way... yeah  
Burning up forever and always... yeah _

_'Cause the walls burned up, and our love fell down,  
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.  
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,  
And it's burning for forever and always.  
You gotta let it go and be on our way  
And live for another day,  
'Cause it ain't the same, my baby.  
Watch it all fall into the ground  
No happy ever after ‒ just disaster. _

_'Cause the walls burned up, and our love fell down,  
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.  
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,  
And it's burning for forever and always.  
You gotta let it go be on our way  
And live for another day,  
'Cause it ain't the same, my baby.  
Watch it all fall into the ground  
No happy ever after ‒ just disaster, just disaster woah _

_Burning up for forever and always, oh woah.. yeah."_

As soon I finished the song Carlos simply hung his head just like he had earlier, and walked out of the studio.

**A/N: I'm trying to write my stories like how'd you see them in a book which is why I don't space as much between the dialouge now. In books they usually only space between paragraphs when the main idea of the two paragraphs are different.  
I recently got a review about it and I apologized for it before realizing what they meant. If you like how I typed the stories before and it was easier that way, just tell me in a review and I'll type the way I used to. Whatever is easy for you guys. Thanks!**

P.S: The song is "Disaster" by Jojo

**~ XOXO Jasmine**


	12. Chapter 12: Empty

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show.  
A/N: It's been a while since this update and I'm sorry. I've just been busy with a lot and now I'm taking summer classes before I start college so I apologize. I read all the reviews and thanks for every one guys! I felt like I owed you something for making you wait so long so I typed this up while eating dinner lol I'm sorry it's short but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Please leave more awesome reviews, you guys are what keep me writing. :)**

Chapter Twelve: Empty

Everyone stared at me with wide eyes except James who had his arms folded in front of his chest with a wide grin on his face. Gustavo reached forward and pushed a button and then I heard nothing from the headphones. My face was puzzled as I tapped the headphones gently. I then watched as Gustavo spoke to them and Kendall shrugged as James talked. Gustavo swirled around in his chair and pushed a button. His voice was then booming in my ears.  
"Why didn't you say you could sing like that?!"  
"Umm..you never asked," I knew better than to be smart with Gustavo but I didn't care. Who goes around a record company bragging about their singing voice? That's just desperate.  
"We'd like to sign you with us." A flatscreen t.v. behind everyone light up and I recognized the man as Griffin, Gustavo's boss.  
"W-what?!"  
"Alex that'd be so cool!" James was bouncing in his seat. I looked to Kendall and Logan for some sort of answer and they just smiled and nodded.  
"It's up to you," Logan said softly.  
Being signed with Rocque Records. There were some benefits. As a child I loved to sing, but I never pursued it knowing it was a one in a million chance. I would be closer to my brother and my friends...and Carlos. That was definately a negative. But it's time to think about me now, no more putting Carlos first.  
"Okay," I breathed deeply, "I'm game."

After talking to my parents, and signing what felt like thousands of papers, I leaned back into my chair. I sighed and placed my arms on the large table and rested my head on them. I felt a warm hand on my back rub slightly. I looked up slowly and smiled at Logan's pressance.  
"How'd it go?" he asked as he sat in a chair close to me.  
"My hand hurts," I complained.  
"Just wait until you make it big and you have to sign all those autographs," he joked. I groaned as I put my head back down and he laughed. I sat back up and finally let out a laugh.  
"Thanks."  
"For what?"  
"You know, just being there for me when I needed it most," I smiled.  
Logan placed his hand on top of mine and gave me a warm smile, "I'll always be here Alex."  
I leaned forward and kissed him gently on his lips. "Thank you," I said once more.

I don't exactly know the moment when it happened, but Logan and I were pretty much a couple now. Holding hands, little kisses here and there, going out for dinner together, going to work together. He was always there for me. I tried to deny it when he kissed me when we were writing the song, but it was ineviatble. It all happened on it's own. It was something new and fresh and I enjoyed it. I know Carlos hated it.

Logan and I arrived at Roque Records to finish working on "Disaster", my first song to be released. I wore my typical T-Shirt and ripped jeans.  
"This won't do," Kelly said as soon as she saw me. She looked me up and down a few times while shaking her head.  
"What's wrong?"  
"You're outfit, this look won't do at all," she said, still shaking her head.  
"Can we save this for another day and just finish the song?" I was done with people trying to change me.  
"Okay," she said, but I was already walking to the booth. Logan kissed my cheek and smiled at me then closed the door to the booth. I put on the headphones and looked up. I wanted to break the glass.  
Carlos walked in with Carmen on his arm. She smiled as soon as she looked at me in the booth. She then kissed Carlos on purpose while still looking at me. Why was I getting jealous? Logan and I were pretty much a couple now. Better to move on than hang on to false hope.  
"Just like last time," Gustavo said. I nodded and took in a deep breath.

_"I didn't want it this way,  
I only wanted to say I loved you right.  
But now you're walking away,  
And leaving me here to stay,  
So foolish of me to wait for you to realize  
All the things I gave you, made you,  
Changed you, your dreams came true  
When I met you, now forget you,  
Don't want anymore _

_'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down  
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.  
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,  
And it's burning for forever and always.  
You gotta let it go and be on our way  
And live for another day,  
Cause it ain't the same, my baby.  
Watch it all fall into the ground  
No happy ever after ‒ just disaster. _

_You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me,  
Not feeling my heart beat, and now I was dying.  
I am through it, I-I am through all the agony,  
And now my eyes are drying, trying,  
No more crying,  
Lying's just a game.  
So disaster strikes,  
And I'm alright  
'Cause my love's on his way... yeah  
Burning up forever and always... yeah"_

"And we're done! That was perfect!" Gustavo roared. I took off the headphones and walked out the booth trying not to smack the smile that was planted on Carmen's face.

As soon as I arrived at Rocque Records the next day I was already being escorted around by Kelly. "We have a lot to do today," Kelly said. She continued to talk but I tuned her out. I was being taken to a changing room to shoot the video as she continued to talk. It was all sudden, but they explained that they wanted me in the public eye as soon as possible since my music was developing quickly.  
I changed into the clothes they gave me, not really liking it. They gave me black boots with dark denium shorts, a navy blue top and a sleeveless denium jacket. After going through make-up and getting my hair done, I felt super girly. I'm sure many girls woud've loved this experience but I'm not one of them.  
I was then brought to a set that looked like a living room with a complete camera crew surrounding it. I felt so out of place. I remained where they left me, completely puzzled. Soon I saw a male model walking towards me with Gustavo.  
"Long story short, he's going to be in some shots with you. To nget the video to match your song you need act like you hate him, you're mad at him, whatever. JUST GET IT DONE RIGHT!"  
I glanced at Carlos. I could use him as my inspiration.  
"Playback!" I heard someone yell.

After getting yelled at for getting _too_ into character, we were finally done. I sighed, grateful that there would be no more costume changes, pretend fights on set or singing into the camera like it was a person. What was I getting myself into?  
"You were great." I turned around to see Carlos standing there.  
"I...um, thank you." I didn't know what else to say. I was so intent on ignoring him for hurting me and yet here he was.  
"Was that...for me?" he seemed to have been nervous. He then put his hands in his pockets and tried to make eye contact. I looked away and sighed. No, I couldn't let myself get attached again. Bitch mode on.  
Or not.  
Logan walked in with a light tap at the door. He stopped and looked at Carlos then at me.  
"What's up Carlos?" he asked in a defensive tone as he walked over to me and placed a kiss on my cheek.  
"Nothing...just telling Lexie she did a good job," Carlos gave me an apologetic smile that seemed to hide some pain. Pain, really? No, I'm the one in pain, not him.  
"What was that about?" Logan asked as soon as Carlos was gone.  
"I-I don't know."  
"Do you still-"  
"No!" I turned around and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn't want to hear the question I've been expecting for a while. I didn't know how I felt anymore. Logan is intelligent, amazing, friendly, comforting and Carlos is... I just couldn't put it into words.  
"Alex.." Logan began.  
"I think I still do, I don't know.."  
"I love you."  
"I'm so sorry Logan," I slumped into a chair, leaned my elbow on the arm rest and hide my face in my hand. That was when the realization of his words hit me. I quickly looked up at him, eyes wide.  
"I do," he said it like it was the simplest thing in the world.  
"Logan.."  
"You don't have to say it back, not yet," Logan then pulled me out the chair and into his arms. My arms found their way around his neck naturally. I smiled as I stared into his brown eyes.  
"Logan Mitchell, when did you get so perfect?"  
"Only in your eyes." He then pressed his lips against mine, warm and loving. Even in his arms with this feeling of being loved, I still felt a little empty.


	13. Chapter 13: Wrong

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, their songs or the characters from the show.  
AN: I don't think you guys will be shocked with this chapter lol But leave reviews if you like it. I wasn't planning it to go this way, it just happened. Enjoy!**

Chapter Thirteen: Wrong

"You want me to what?!" I was a bit shocked. My sudden new career was taking off quickly. My first album was released three months ago, which felt like yesterday to me. It was all so fast. And now...  
"C'mon please?" James begged.  
"Don't beg! She'll do it because it's her job!" Gustavo shouted. I seriously can't believe I hadn't bought earplugs yet.  
"We all start rehearsal tomorrow for the video, get a good nights sleep everyone!" Kelly was a little too energetic for me today.  
I was being forced to be in BTR's new video for "Music Sounds Better With U" I thought my job was done after singing a small part in it. Apparently not.  
I liked the song, but I also hated it. It made me think of Carlos. Three months and I still wasn't over him. I'm with Logan and Carlos still had my heart. I felt horrible.  
"Who's my dance partner?" I asked, hoping it would be Logan. Dancing with my brother? Hell no!  
Kendall? Weird.  
Carlos? Just plain awkward. We've danced before but things were different then, happier.  
"Carlos," Kelly replied while looking at her clipboard.  
I felt like I was choking, "Why Carlos?"  
Gustavo slammed his fist on the table, "Deal with it!"

I woke up dreading the days events. Logan greeted me at my door with a huge grin.  
"Hey," I said, trying to hide my feelings. He pressed his lips to mine and handed me a brown paper bag. "Got you some grub," he smiled, obviously pleased with himself.  
"I hope you didn't make this..." I opened the bag unsure if I should eat it.  
"Kendall's mom made it," Logan shook his head with a chuckle. I bit into the sandwich and tasted the delicious eggs and bacon. I nodded happily. Today was starting to look up.  
We arrived at Roque Records at 8am. I hate mornings but I was beginning to get used to it.  
"Everyone, pair with your partners. Get aquainted!" the dance instructer was too happy this morning. It reminded me of Kelly yesterday.  
I sighed when Carlos walked over to me. He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. Even after everything we've been through, my heart still ached when he looked at me.  
"Good morning Lexie," he smiled again. He was obviously happy to be my partner. I felt my heart skip. No! Damnit Alex this is wrong. You're with Logan, and he's with Carmen! He hurt you!  
"I thought I asked you to stop calling me that.." I tried not to stutter or choke on my words. My bitch mode had begun to fade around him these past three months, which is why I tried my best to avoid him. This time it was inevitable.  
"You know you'll always be Lexie to me."  
I hadn't said another word to him and rehearsal started. It was 2pm before we knew it. Everyone seemed to have gotten the dance down except me. I was distracted the entire time, always thinking about how his touch felt, his familiar scent, the warmth of his body this close to me.  
"You totally suck today sis," James threw a towel at me. I glared at him when Kendall spoke up, "You should stay and practice. We don't have a lot of rehearsals." He was using his 'leader voice.'  
"I guess you're right Kenny."  
"I'll stay and help her," Logan smiled at me.  
"You're not her partner. She has to practice with her partner," James said.  
"Yeah, you're right," Logan sighed.  
"See you two later," Kendall waved at us before walking out after his partner and Logan's partner and James' partner and the dance instructer did. Logan walked over and kissed me. One hand found it's way behind my head and the other on my back. They forced me into him and I pushed him off. He was trying to send Carlos a message. Carlos just looked away with his arms folded.  
"Logan!" I felt like a possesion he was trying to keep in a vault with a clear 'this is mine, do not touch!' sign on.  
"What?" he asked innocently.  
"Let's go man," James patted his shoulder and I heard him whisper "Don't ever do that again." He then looked back at Carlos and I over his shoulder, "Have fun you two!" Then he winked at me. What was that about?

"Okay," Carlos clapped his hands together once everyone was gone. He smiled again and my lips curved into a smile in reaction. No he hurt me, no smiling. Strictly business. This is my job.  
He picked up the remote and turned on the stereo. The music started booming out the speakers. It was late, we had been rehearsing for hours,I had about half of the dance done. I think Carlos finally caught on to my distraction because he then placed his hands on my hips. He then spun me around and looked into my eyes.  
"Lexie.." his face was calm and careful. I felt his lips gently touch mine. I felt my eyes slowly close and my arms wound around his neck. It felt so right but I knew it was wrong. I wanted to stay there forever, but it was wrong. He hurt me so I moved on. After coming to my senses I pushed him away. I felt my eyes watering as I ran my fingers through my hair.  
"We can't. We can't! You're with Carmen!"  
"I broke up with Carmen," his voice was calm.  
"You think that makes this okay?! I'm with Logan!" I felt hot tears on my cheeks. "You hurt me Carlos!"  
He began to wipe the tears off my face with his thumb. "Shh," he cooed, "it's okay. I'm here now."  
"After three months! Three months Carlos!"  
"I thought you didn't care about me after what I did. I thought it was over for good. I broke up with Carmen a while back. You were just never around to realize it. You avoided me."  
"Yeah I avoided you!" I was on the other side of the room now, wiping my tears away. "That's what people do when someone hurts them... especially when they love them.."  
Carlos then hung his head low. "Maybe we should just get back to practice then..I just want you to be happy. If Logan makes you happy then.."  
"You make me happy Carlos.."  
I just couldn't help it at that point. I couldn't control myself. I was rushing to him even though I didn't want to. Why rush to someone who hurt you in the past? Because you're in love with them? Is that good enough a reason? I guess I didn't care. I just wanted to be happy and I ignored the consequences.  
My hands touched his face and brought his lips to mine. I felt tears once again as we kissed. This time I didn't feel weak like I had every other time I cried. I felt happy. I felt a smile play on my lips as we kissed and soon I felt it on his lips as well.

I stretched as the sunlight came in through the window. I felt an arm wrap around me and pull me closer.  
Carlos.  
My memory was foggy. ...Did we? I looked around the room carefully. We did.  
"Carlos.." I whispered. My first time, with the man I love. Carlos kissed my neck gently, "Good morning Lexie."  
I turned around to face him and kissed him, trying to force all my love into the kiss like I had yesterday. That was when everything hit me.  
"Oh no...oh no..." my heart was pounding. I grabbed my clothes and began to put them on.  
"Lexie what's wrong?" Carlos was now sitting up, concern all over his face.  
"What we just did! That was wrong!" I couldn't stop thinking about Logan. I looked at the clock. 7:47am. He'd be here soon to pick me up for rehearsal. He'd probably ask what happened to Carlos too and why I hadn't called or sent a text last night. I began to put on my shoes, "Get dressed!" I then threw his shirt at him. I heard a knock at the door as soon as he put it on. Damnit! Do I tell the truth and hurt him? Or do I lie to him about what happened and my feelings for Carlos? My heart was pounding.  
"Uhh..Just a minute!" I shouted. I looked at Carlos, "Stay here," I whispered and closed the door. I was thankful my parents were gone for a few weeks for their wedding anniversary.  
I opened the door and smiled at Logan, "Hey!"  
"Hey! Good-...wait weren't you wearing that yesterday?" He pointed at my outfit. My own home and I hadn't thought to get different clothes.  
"N-no," I shook my head, "Don't be silly! Let's go!" I left my keys on the table beside the door and closed it. Logan raised his eyebrows, "Aren't you going to lock it?"  
"James," I said, saying the first thing to come to mind, "he might want to get a new shirt mom got him before she left and you know, he lives at 2J with you so he doesn't have a key here. It's all good, no one will notice." I stopped when I realized I was rambling. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. It would destroy him.

A few hours later we were all rehearsing again. When we were having a break James pulled me to the far side of the room.  
"Where was Carlos last night?"  
"What's with the third degree? He was here practicing with me. You know, you and Kenny's brilliant idea. Don't get on my case just cause your roommate didn't come home," I took a sip of my water.  
"I never said he didn't come home," he crossed his arms.  
"Well, it's um, implied. I mean, you knew he was here practicing and after that I obviously went home so saying 'where was Carlos last night?' you're implying he never came home and why would I know? Maybe he came home late and left early for were only practicing so-" James covered my mouth with his hand.  
"Shut up and give me the truth. Did you go out for dinner? Late night date? Eh?" He gently nudged me with his elbow. So that was what his wink was about. He was trying to get Carlos and I back together.  
"No, we had sex."  
"Haha, good one Alex," James chuckled nervously before staring at me again. "YOU WHAT?!" Everyone turned to look at us. "Nothing going on over here!" I laughed nervously. I then explained everything to my brother the best I could.  
"Oh man.. oh man..." James kept repeating himself since I refused to let him punch Carlos. Or maybe because his sister wasn't a 'baby' anymore.  
"I can't tell you what to do Alex. I can only give you advice and my advice is: tell the truth and be with who makes you happy. You're my sister. I just want what's best for you just like you want what's best for me."  
"Thanks James.. I just wish my first time wasn't me cheating on someone else," I whispered. I still didn't feel like I could tell the truth.

Carlos and I were left behind for extra practice again. Just like yesterday we were kissing again. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it. Even after all the pain that he cause, he was the medicine to those wounds. I felt like such a hypocrite. I yelled at Paige for cheating on my brother and told him. Yet here I am, cheating on Logan with Carlos. This didn't make me any better than her. I felt wrong, like I was disgusting. Before I got the chance to pull away and tell Carlos I would tell Logan the truth, I heard a weird noise. We both turned to see Paige standing there with her phone's camera aimed at us.  
"Cute pic guys."


End file.
